Divorce is the bitter end of a marital relationship. Asking for a divorce is an event of life that doesn’t put anybody at ease - neither the person asking for it, nor the one at the receiving end. The multiple loops and tangles that a divorce creates can choke both the parties, physically as well as mentally. If you find that your marriage can’t survive and that the best thing to do is to file a divorce, you may need to first sit back and think a bit. There are certain things to consider before asking for a divorce. After reading this article, you will get a clear idea about what to do before asking your spouse for a divorce.
Things To Consider Before Asking For A Divorce
Discuss With Your Spouse
Do not break the news of divorce to your family or close friends without discussing it with your spouse. Your spouse should be the first person to know of your intention. At any time, if he/she comes to know that everybody knew it before him/her, it may hurts his/her feelings deeply.
Discuss With Your Kids
After spouse, your kids should be the ones to be told about your decision of separating from their father/mother. Decide whether you want to reveal the matter alone or in presence of your partner. Before approaching your children, think about the possible questions that may run through their minds. Be prepared to answer each and every one them.
Choose The Appropriate Time
Divorce is not an easy matter that can be discussed in leisure time. It requires you to choose the right time. In addition, you should consider the convenience of your partner, as to when he/she is free and in the right frame of mind. Do not talk anything about the issue when your partner is rushing for an important business meeting or is already tensed about something. Find a time when he/she is relaxed and at ease.
Stop The Blame Game
Asking for a divorce is one of the biggest decisions of your life. This means that you have decided to move forward. There is no point in blaming the other person for your decision or making him/her feel guilty, because this will make the situation worse. Set aside the resentment and discuss the matter calmly.
Talk About The Finances
After finding the right time to break the news, you may now go ahead with your queries regarding finances. To present it in the best way, it is suggested to make a list of the joint property, investments, shares and joint accounts and the like that you are sharing with your spouse, beforehand. In many cases, the spouse asking for a divorce often feels hesitant or guilty to talk about the finances. It is okay to ask for what you are entitled to.
Your Future Plans
Now that you have decided to part with your present partner and move on, you may talk about your future plans as well. This not only includes your own plans about moving out, it also includes how you will break the news to your friends and family. Decide who will stay in the family home and who has to move out. Figure out your children’s expenses and divide the costs.
Hire A Lawyer
After discussing all the issues with your spouse, the last step towards asking for a divorce is to find an experienced lawyer, who will assist you in accomplishing the task. Make an appointment with the lawyer and talk to him/her about what all can be done to have a result that is favorable for you.
Decide what type of relationship you want to maintain with your spouse post divorce – whether you want to be on good terms with him/her, as a friend or you want to break all the contacts with your spouse.