A fulfilling relationship always demands constant nurture from both the partners. So, it becomes very important that you give your time, support and love to your romantic companion, in order to experience the actual bliss of being in a relationship. However, when you are dating a man whose emotions sway with every new moon, the romance in the relationship evaporates in no time. Such a man can be helplessly mushy at times and give you that expensive surprise gift when you least expect it. But, the very next moment he might pick a nasty fight and his behavior starts stinking. Don’t get baffled by such a behavior in your man. He might be a ‘commitment phobic’.
Such guys profess undying love to their woman, but at the same time feel trapped in the relationship. Sometimes, it might be possible that they start valuing the relationship and finally seal it with an “I Do”. Still, in most cases, a commitment phobic guy leaves you with nothing but, a sore heart and then, looks for a casual affair elsewhere. So, it is very important to understand the tell-tale signs of ‘commitment phobia’ in a man, to really know where your relationship is heading. Don’t let him take you on a joy-ride for nothing. Read this article to know why exactly a man avoids commitment in a relationship and how to tell if your man has commitment issues.
How to tell if he is Commitment Phobic?
If you see the following signs in a guy, it means that he is commitment phobic.
- It is always you who brings forward issues like commitment and marriage, while having discussions.
- He gets anxious or uncomfortable if you try to discuss about your future together (sometimes even gets mad and rebellious).
- He has had end number of short term affairs before he dated you (he was the one who dumped his ex-partners).
- He often postpones dates and appointments at the very last minute and gives silly excuses for the same.
- He shrinks from displaying public affection like holding hands or embracing etc (especially in front of his friends).
- He often introduces you to his friends as “She is my friend”.
- He never discusses about his family with you (because he believes that telling you that his sister is a good cook is silly and unnecessary).
- He does not have any plan of introducing you to his family or has never tried to introduce you to them (he avoids it like a contagious disease).
- He often has no valid reasons of coming home late or staying away from home for a long time (because he doesn’t believe in giving explanations).
- He shows no signs of commitment to any of his personal object or belonging (car/ house/ career or even a pet).
- He plays the romantic/ dejection game (first showers you with love and then, treats you like a doormat the very next day)
What makes Men Commitment Phobic?
Listed below are some reasons that make men commitment phobic.
- They want to enjoy their freedom, and believe long-term relationship will hinder their individuality and independence.
- Sometimes various personality disorders can make a man commitment phobic.
- A man might have experienced a dominating relationship with some other woman before (negative feeling associated with relationship).
- Stereotypical beliefs that women are not faithful or trustworthy (negative feeling associated with love) might make a man avoid commitments.
- He has witnessed unhappy/ unfaithful marriages during his childhood (negative feeling associated with marriage).
- He might have seen a loved one dying and hence, unconsciously/ consciously avoids a relationship that demands love and affection.
Thus, a man may be commitment phobic for many reasons. It entirely depends on how you handle the whole affair. If you are lucky you might change a commitment phobic man to a dedicated partner, with psychological assistance or just by playing smart. Whatever you do, don’t compromise with your dignity. Don’t let an oddball treat you as trash and keep justifying his behavior every other day. Walk out of the relationship if need be. It is no good watering a withered plant.