Grief is the most natural outcome of a loss and seeing your loved one in grief is surely heart breaking. Comforting a grieving person is a very challenging task and entails a lot of support and care. Not knowing what to do and how to act with a grieving person is a horrible feeling. You need to remember that it is only the right words and right attitude that can help a grieving person tremendously. In order to explore more on how to comfort a grieving person, check out the tips given in the following lines.
Comforting The Bereaved
Let Them Express Their Feeling
The more a person expresses his feelings, the better he feels. Instead of trying to distract the bereaved, let them grieve. Don’t force them to open up, but make sure that they know that you are there with them and its okay for them to cry or break down in front of you. They should feel free to express their feelings, without any fear of judgment and/or criticism.
Sometimes, a person may not want to talk about it at all, so don’t be impatient. Be there and allow yourself to sit in silence. It may feel awkward to you, but can give immense relief to the grieving person. On the other hand, a person may like to tell the story over and over. Here also, be patient. His mood may change frequently and he may be cranky or irritable at just about everything. Don’t take it in bad terms and be there for him. Just hold his hand and squeeze it gently, to reinforce that you are there.
Understand The Pain
Unless you truly understand people's pain, you won’t be able to really comfort them. If you have gone through the same thing, then it may be easy for you to understand. Share with them your own feelings, when you went through the same experience. However, take the cue from the grieving person, whether he wants to listen to you or not.
Know The Stage Of Grief
Roughly, grief can be divided into five stages - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Know the stage in which a grieving person is and act accordingly. If he is denying the fact then, the grief must be very new and he may not be able to comprehend the fact. Anger may be volatile, hostile, or sometimes even subdued. In the bargaining stage, the person struggles to cope with the fact. Depression lasts longest and needs to be tackled very delicately. Acceptance is where the person has finally caught hold of himself.
Offer Your Consolation
Offer your consolation to the grieving person. Use soothing words and show genuine concern. Tell your friend how sorry you are for his loss and hug him, hold him tight or just be there for him. Sometimes, just giving shoulder for a person to cry over serves as a big consolation.
Offer Your Help
Sometimes, even offering your helps works. However, it should not be done with a person in the first or second stage of grief. If the person is willing to listen to you, ask them how you can help. Make sure that he knows that you will be with him whenever he needs you.
Sometimes, it’s very difficult to see your loved one in such a bemoaning. It feels awkward and you may feel very uncomfortable as well. The more uncomfortable you feel, the harder it will be for the grieving person. So, try to remain natural.
You cannot comfort grieving people without actually being concerned. Even if you are not with them in person, call from time to time just to make sure that they are okay. Offer to go along with them and run errands for them.