Very Funny Jokes

Telling a joke is, as most people find, is no joke at all. It is, in fact, really an art. Have you ever wondered how some people can make you split your sides with every line they utter? And how even a notoriously funny joke turns a damp squib, due to the inefficiency of the speaker? Indeed, some people are born with the innate knack of telling the perfect joke. When a certain personality was rudely told by another, “Who wants to listen to your stupid jokes” the unruffled personage replied nonchalantly “Jokes, my dear, are meant to be stupid. Otherwise, how will you understand it?” Yes, such witty, on the spur of the moment are the most funniest of the jokes. That is why the gift of the gab is an integral part of jokes. The most successful ‘jokers’ are undoubtedly those who have the sharpest wit and, of course, the gift of the gab. Now, you must not think that the pleasure of telling jokes is left with those who are born with the ability to do so. Anybody can enjoy this luxury, only if they can build a repertoire of really hilarious jokes. These really funny jokes do not require any extra effort on the part of the speaker. So, you can safely bet that if you tell any one of these jokes, even with a straight face, it will elicit loud bursts of laughter. Given below in the article is an excellent selection of really funny jokes that you should know.

 

The Old Professor poses the following problem to one of his classes:

“A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his daughter, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his brother, and the rest to his wife. Now, what does each get?”

After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Paul raises his hand and says, “A lawyer?”

 

A chicken crossed the road and met James Bond,

'What's your name?' asked the chicken,

'Bond, James Bond. What's yours?'

'Ken, Chick Ken.'

 

A man was walking down the street with a baby ape in his arms when a friend stopped him and asked what he was doing with the chimp. "I just bought this ape as a pet. We have no children; so he's going to live with us - just like one of the family.

He'll eat at the same table with us. He'll even sleep in the same bed with me and my wife."

"But what about the smell?" the friend asked.

"Oh, he'll just have to get used to it, the same way I did.

 

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.

 

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."

 

A priest and pastor from the local parishes were standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that read, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!"

They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car. As the first driver sped past, he yelled, "Leave us alone...we don't believe in that religious stuff!"

From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash. One clergyman said to the other, "Do you think we should just put up a sign that says, 'Bridge Out' instead?"

 

After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. “How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a $50.00 bottle.

“That’s a bit much,” said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. “That’s still quite a bit,” Tim complained.

Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. “What I mean,” said Tim, “is I’d like to see something really cheap.”

The clerk handed him a mirror.