Hilarious Sayings

Hilarious sayings surely make you laugh and help you get through a dull phase. They brighten up your day and add a bit of laughter to frustrating moments, either at home or office. They help you laugh in the face of difficult circumstances and problems. Funny sayings can also be used in greeting cards to give a personal touch to the wishes. These sayings contain powerful messages filled with humor, to soften a blow. When alone or getting bored, they help you smile, forget all your sadness and change your mood. Read through the following lines for some of the most hilarious sayings that are sure to make you laugh your heart out.

Short Funny Sayings

I consider exercise vulgar. It makes people smell. - Alec Yuill Thornton
Therefore is a word the poet must not know. - André Gide
Equipped with his five senses, man explores the universe around him and calls the adventure Science. - Edwin Powell Hubble
God save me from my friends. I can protect myself from my enemies. - Claude Louis Hector de Villars
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet. - Rodney Dangerfield
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is. - Ellen DeGeners
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. - George Burns
You don't look fat, everyone else looks skinny. - Dane Peddigrew
True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal
In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. - Kathy Norris
The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on. - Robert Bloch
My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot. - Ashleigh Brilliant
When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is extracted. - Helen Rowland
Life's not always fair. Sometimes you can get a splinter even sliding down a rainbow. - Cherralea Morgen
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. - Marvin Kitman
Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. - Bill Vaughan
Children in backseats will cause accidents. Accidents in backseats can bear children. - Anonymous
Love is photogenic. It needs darkness room to develop. - Anonymous
Love the neighbor. But don’t get caught by her husband. - Anonymous
God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. - Anonymous
The more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, and the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn? - Anonymous
Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. - Anonymous
The four most important words in any marriage...I'll do the dishes. - Anonymous
An alarm clock is a device that wakes you up just in time to go back to sleep. - Anonymous

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