When friendship becomes troublesome, a cause of tension and stress for you, it is better to put an end to such a relationship. Violation of trust, dishonesty, no shared interests or misunderstanding, whatever be the reason, when you have decided to terminate a friendship, it is wise to do it gracefully and swiftly. Break up puts nobody at ease. Therefore, you should know, very well, how to break the bond with your friends, without hurting them much. If you are looking for some tips in this regard, go through the following lines.
Breaking Up With Friends
- It is very important to discuss the problems and issues with your friend, before concluding that you want a break up. Talk to him/her first. Know what went wrong in the friendship and try to take corrective measures. If nothing gets resolved, probably your friend deserves a break up.
- Consider the level of your break up - whether you want to bump down from "best friends" to "good friends", "just friends" or "mere acquaintances". Decide whether you just want to stop hanging out with the person or stop talking to him/her altogether or both.
- Putting across your thoughts via e-mail, text message, letter or a third party (a mutual friend or acquaintance) is not suggested. Breaking up, abruptly, by these methods would be too agonizing. It is suggested to break up in person, face to face.
- Whether it is a love affair or mere friendship, break up deserves privacy. Choose the most appropriate place for breaking the news. While conveying your decision to your friend, make sure that no one is around.
- Discuss the matter calmly. It should not be an emotional outburst from your side. Convey your thoughts boldly, without getting aggressive. Be clear about what you feel.
- When your friend hears the news of the break up, he/she may react differently. It could be anything - a sudden outburst, anger, tears or calm acceptance. Be prepared for the worst reaction from the other side.
- If your friend demands an explanation from you for being so cold, be ready to give it. Tell him/her what turned you off the friendship and why you want the relationship to end.
- After you are through with the process of putting a full stop to the friendship, it is the time to maintain your stance. Your friend should not think that the decision was done without thinking much.
- While being friends with a person, if you were with him/her all through the day or used to frequent his/her place quite often, it is the time to put a stop on it. In case you have toned down the friendship, limit the time spent with the person.
- Stop calling the person, but not abruptly. Instead, reduce the frequency of the phone calls gradually. Make it once a week, then a month, followed by once in few months. With the passing time, he/she would probably realize that you were firm with the decision of breaking the contact with him/her.
- If you encounter him/her at a gathering, say a mutual friend's birthday party, do not show indifference. If he/she smiles, you should also do the same thing. Do not walk out from the situation or place, if he/she is present there. It would show that you are an escapist. Treat the person as you would treat any other acquaintance.