Funny One Line Jokes

Good looking, are you? Well, if you think that your jaw-dropping looks and dashing machismo are decent enough to wow any chic, know that you are just partly right. Hanging out with a boring Adonis is no fun! Instead, girls prefer to hook up with an average-looking jokester who can hold on to their attention for much, much longer. Someone rightly said, “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people”. So if the woman you are seeing labels you as the funniest persons she knows, pat yourself for you are on your way to becoming a ladies' man. Women love men with a sense of humor! So you better notch up your funny bone if you wish to impress one. Whether you wish to whoop up your funny factor, or floor your date with your amazing sense of humor, these funny one-line jokes are sure to get you and your date cackling. Check out these funny one-liners and have a great time laughing.

One Liner Jokes

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor's office is full of portraits by Picasso.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
Regardless of the temptation, don't lick a steak knife.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman,"Where's the self-help section?"She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
They lived happily until they got married.
"What did one ghost say to another?""Do you believe in people?"
They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
"Room Service? Can you send up a towel?" "Please wait someone else is using it."
When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.
I went alone on our honeymoon. My wife had already seen the Niagara Falls.
It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look !!
A modern artist is one who throws paint on canvas, wipes it off with a cloth and sells the cloth.
"Has there been any insanity in your family?" "Yes, doctor. My husband thinks he's the boss."
I was thinking of becoming a doctor. I have the handwriting for it.
Why did you hit your husband with a chair?" "I couldn't lift the table."
"What do you use for washing dishes?""Oh, I tried many things but found my husband best."
"How is your wife getting along on her reducing diet?""Fine. She vanished last night."
There are two kinds of secrets : one is not worth keeping and the other is too good to keep.
"I gotta 'A' in spelling." "You dope! There isn't any 'A' in spelling."
There's one thing good about being poor - its inexpensive.
Memory is what tells a man his wedding anniversary was yesterday.
An unmarried man has no buttons on his shirt. A married man has no shirt.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two!
Every man/woman should marry - After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
Success is a relative term - It brings so many relatives!
Never put off the work until tomorrow - what you can put off today!
Your future depends on your dreams - So go to sleep!
Hard work never killed anybody - But why take the risk!
Work fascinates me - I can look at it for hours!
When two's company, three's the result!
The family that sticks together should bathe more often.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
I can't remember the last time I forgot something.
Time is the best teacher, but it kills all its students.

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