Blonde Jokes

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant with twins! So, whether the joke deals with alligators or planes, cars or detectives, blondes make the center of attraction in all varieties and assortment. Such is the stupidity and silliness of blonde women that they place themselves in situations, wherein they give comments that prove their lack of intelligence. Whether it is Christmas, New Year, Fools’ Day, or Halloween, blonde jokes are sufficient to give you a good laugh, thereby adding twisted humor and tinge of hilarity, turning your occasion all the more enjoyable and memorable. With this list of dumb, silly, and humorous jokes on blondes, have an amusing time. These are sure to leave you giggling for hours. Check them out laugh along with them!

 

A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

"Where did you get that?"

The pig replied,

"I won her in a raffle!"

 

This blonde went to the pizza place and ordered a pizza. The pizza guy asked her if she wanted it cut into six pieces or twelve.

“Oh, six,” she said. “I could never eat twelve pieces.”

 

Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?

Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!

 

A blonde was asked what the capital of California was.

“That’s easy,” she said. “It’s C.”

 

What do you get when you put seven blondes in a freezer?

Frosted Flakes

 

Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?

They think their picture is being taken.

 

Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?

You have to hollow out the head.

 

A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard one blonde joke after the other. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling,

"You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"

 

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

 

What do twenty blondes standing ear to ear make?

A wind tunnel

 

Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?

Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables.

 

How do you recognize a blonde in school?

They are the only ones who erase their notebook when the teacher erases the board.

 

A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear.

Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?"

"The sucker called again!"

 

What do you do when a blonde girl throws a grenade at you?

You pull the pin out and throw it back!

 

A blonde, a red head, and a brunette were having a breast stroke swimming contest to see who the better swimmer was. It was a 5 mile race. At the finish, the red head came first, then the brunette, and finally, after two hours of waiting, the blonde arrived. The red head and the brunette asked what had taken her so long. She replied, “Well, I don't want to be picky or anything, but, I think you two were using you're hands!”