How to Set Boundaries with Mother In Law

Almost every girl who is about to get married gets jitters when mentioned these three little words: Mother-in-Law. Many newly married girls complain that though the mother-in-law is affectionate, when it comes to their husband, she is unable to deal with the fact that there is now someone else who has an upper hand over her son. A naturally built-in rivalry develops between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law. This leads to a strain in the relation and often has disastrous results. In every relation, be it with parents, relatives, friends or in-laws, there needs to be set, a certain boundary or a limit that should not be crossed if you want to have a steady and pleasant relationship. Check out tips for setting a certain boundary with your mother-in-law.

You need to realize that having a good relation with your mother-in-law will go a long way in establishing a strong family. So even if your mother-in-law behaves a bit stubborn in the beginning, try to get close to her with love and compassion and you will have her melting down in no time.
Some girls tend to have problems from the very first day. The first thing you need to do is talk to your husband about it. If you feel your mother-in-law is intruding too much in your married life and you are not able to bond properly, tell your husband about it. Communicating your problem is the first step to be taken.
The next step should be taken by your husband. If he is caring enough, he should understand that your problem is genuine and needs to be taken care of as early as possible. Instead of pushing you to talk, he should be the one to talk to his mother.
When he talks, the issues should be tackled keeping in mind both of you and not just you alone. So instead of saying ‘she has a problem’, he should convey something more meaningful like ‘we need to bond’.
Be honest with her about what you feel. If you feel you need more time with your husband, say it to her. At the same time, you need to convey this in a way that does not offend her in any way. Say how much you enjoy being with her and being in her family. Then add how much you would love to spend the weekend with her, but also need to go out with your husband after a hectic week to spend time with him. She will understand.
In case your mother-in-law lives with you, set a particular time everyday that will be exclusive for the two of you. It could be when you return from work or early evening when you can spend some quality time with each other. Just like that, set a rule that no-one interferes when you spend time with your husband.

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