Being assertive simply means being positive and standing up for one’s right to be treated justly. In the present day world, everyone wants to be assertive, but only a few really are. We often misinterpret assertive communication as aggressive communication. In fact, many people think being assertive means being “rude” and thus, refrain from this positive attitude. However, this is not so. Being assertive means putting across your point effectively and confidently, in a way that you do not look overbearing. People who are assertive have strong relationships and are less prone to stress. They have fewer conflicts and live a happy life. Now, who wouldn’t want to be assertive? Although it is not possible to turn oneself overnight into an assertive person, here is a guide, which will help you find yourself self-confident and assertive. So, read on and know how to be more assertive in communication.
Assertive Communication Skill Tips
Learn To Say “No”
It is one of the main keys in acquiring assertive communication skills. People generally want to please everyone and thus, dread this mono-syllabic word. If you cannot say no to things, you would end up being a doormat and lose your self-confidence. A no-nonsense “no” is better that beating around the bush. If you find it difficult to give cut and dried answer, speak indirectly, but firmly, to convey your message.
Use The Sentence With “I”
Using sentences with “I” gives people the notion that you are a responsible and levelheaded person, who knows what he is doing and they would take you seriously. When you don’t use “you” word, people talking to you are less likely to get defensive and a constructive dialogue will get fashioned.
Work On Your Body Language
If you want to present an assertive statement, first thing that you should take into account is your body language. Nervous, wriggly, jumpy posture gives a poor impression of you and often leads to people finding you less credible. Therefore, you need to incorporate a straight, open posture and keep your face and tone under control.
Listening Is The Key
When you don’t listen to anyone, how you can expect others to listen to you. Listening is very much a part of learning assertive communication. So, start by being a good listener.
Be Open To Discussion
You should always be ready for positive discussion. When you discuss issues with other people, you become more able to express yourself. However, remember never ever to get involved in a verbal fight or debate. It is not the matter of being right and wrong, but being able to converse creatively.
If you want people to respect you, you will have to take the initiative to respect them. It is like a quid pro quo. What you give, you get in return as well. However, while respect others, don’t go overboard as well.
Don’t Get Aggressive Or Emotional
When you are composed, people are more likely to believe you. Assertiveness goes completely without aggression, anger or guilt. So, make it a habit to keep your emotions under check.
Respect yourself before seeking respect from others. Remember, you are always treated the way you allow others to treat you. Self-respect begins with the feeling of what you need, want and think.
Acknowledge Your Mistakes
Nobody is perfect! However, a person near to perfection is the one who is able to acknowledge his own follies. If you make a mistake, don’t hesitate to apologize and say 'sorry'.
Accept Constructive Criticism
A person who is comfortable in his own skin doesn’t jump up at even the slightest criticism against him. Rather, he/she takes it in a constructive. So, invite creative criticism and try to eliminate the problems.
Don’t Apologize Unnecessarily
It is good to be humble, but it is bad to be servile. Therefore, make it a habit to apologize only when it is needed. Unnecessary apology means that you are not at all self-confident.
Give Yourself Time To Change
It is not possible to turn into an assertive speaker overnight. Give yourself some time to change. Practice the conversations in front of the mirror or with close friends and slowly, you will see the change in you.