How To Be Assertive

Most people who consider being assertive to be a difficult task often assume that others who are assertive find it easy to be one. However, reality has another story to narrate. Almost everyone feels anxious or wrong footed in some situations or the other. Acting confidently is what makes the difference. With a little bit of practice, you can appear confident and speak assertively as well. Often, people confuse between being assertive and being aggressive. In fact there is a thin line between being assertive, aggressive and docile. While aggressive people do not respect others’ perspective and can hurt others when influencing them, people who are docile are unable to defend their own state of being and hence, get influenced by the aggressiveness of the people. Assertive people, on the other hand, are balanced individuals who though pour out their mind at the time of influencing others, respect the other individual’s views and opinions. Given here are some tips on being assertive and confident.

 

 

Prepare yourself mentally and set your expectations clear to others. Do not expect others to read what is on your mind. Articulate exactly what you expect from others and the reason behind your expectations. Create positive boundaries to know what you are most comfortable at. This way, you will be better able to take control of the situation and achieve your expectations.

 

Your body language plays a major role in determining what others feel about you. Always hold your head up high to show that you are a force to be reckoned with. If you look intimidated, others too would be nervous and anxious. Also, make sure that you do not intimidate others.

 

The tone of voice has a major impact on whether you will be heard or not. Sustain your voice by taking a deep breath and think about the message that you would be conveying. Do not raise your voice in manner of shouting, nagging, whining, and so on. Instead, simply state your message in a matter of fact voice. Always use a voice that can be heard and should be interesting in pitch and delivery.

 

When you are prepared, you will speak with more authority and be better able to deal with things coming up. When speaking to a group of people, plan in advance your speech. This would give a boost to your confidence levels and make you feel positive and secured.

 

Connect with the group that you are speaking to during the introduction itself. For a positive impact on the person or group, be open, friendly, smile and feel in control of the situation. Creating a good rapport would ensure effective communication.

 

The language that you use while conversing is extremely important. Start off with a positive statement to set the tone for the conversation. Never ask people to do you a favor else they will consider doing a favor as part of their job. Use the “I” language, such as “I want” or “I feel”, to acknowledge the other person’s feelings or situation and stand up for your rights.

 

If people have done as expected by you, acknowledge their efforts by thanking them. This will incline the people to put themselves out again in the future. A sense of gratitude and a smile on the face can do wonders for you.

 

If you are not able to achieve success, do not threaten, bully or shout. Be calm, persistent and stay in control. Repeat yourself again and ask your audience to consider the implications of not doing as requested by you.