Let us start this topic by dwelling on the question that “what is virginity”. Virginity can be taken to define the state of a person who has never ever had sex with a member of the opposite sex, till date. A person who has already has sexual encounters will be termed as a non-virgin. In the earlier times, virginity was thought to be one of the desirable attributes of a person about to get married for the first time. However, the desire was concentrated more in case of a woman, as compared to a man. It was always considered to be a woman’s prized possession, placing her highly on the social ethics, across all cultures. With time, the equation seems to have changed to a great extent and sex is no more the taboo it earlier used to be. Let’s check out what role did virginity play in the ancient times and how it has changed the outlook of not just women, but men as well, in the following lines.
Men can have as many affairs and one-night stands as they want, but when it comes down to marriage, they want a woman who is completely innocent, and untouched till date. Though they want to indulge in pre-marital sex, they won't accept a female who has indulged in sex before marriage as their wife. Reasons for imposing the concept of virginity were many. While the fundamental reason was to keep one away from sexual anarchy, staying a virgin prior to marriage also helped humans preventing themselves from different sexually transmitted infections. With time, our society has progressed to quite an extent. However, the concept of having a virgin wife hasn’t changed too much. Even today, there is a significant proportion of men, who would squirm at the mere thought of having a wife who is not a virgin.
The Other Side
Though the chauvinism of guys is still rampant, there are some for whom marrying a non-virgin wife is not such a big issue. A common phrase – “the fruits once bitten by squirrels are more tastier” justifies the mature mindset men have inculcated over time. While virginity definitely compares a girl on the parameters of an un-kissed flower or untasted honey, the question whether men still value virginity or not is an open-ended debate. Though the age-old definition of the term ‘virgin’ applied to only women who’ve not had sex with the opposite sex, the modern individual describes virgin as – if you have had sex, you are not a virgin. As such, the present-day men do not hold a certain set of standards for themselves, while prescribing a different one for their better half.
Further, men and women do not shy about getting into a sexually intimate relationship, even though they do not promise each other of culminating it into marriage. The very thought of tying a knot with a sexually active woman raises eyebrows; however, this is due to the traditional values embedded within us since childhood. Gone are those days when men did not think for a second to hamper the lives of several women before refusing to marry them, on the simple excuse of them not being virgin. Such guys accept the fact that having a past is no big deal, as long as you are faithful and loyal to your present partner. These men do not limit the basis of a relationship to merely the physical realm, celestial concepts, or romantic fantasies. Rather, they believe marriage to be the union of souls as well as the loving bond of minds.
While men still have a high preference for virginity in the present times, but the increase in the percentage of pre-marital affairs has urged them to compare women on the same parameters as themselves.