Coping With Your Stalker

Ever had a feeling of someone watching you and turned around to see a disgruntled ex boyfriend, lover or husband somewhere nearby or any random person you’ve been seeing of late everywhere you go. Those random sightings coupled with phone calls with a silent person on the other end of the line, break-ins at your home are all signs that you have a stalker. Stalkers are dangerous regardless of the fact that they can be classified into different types because by the time you come to realize the kind of a person the stalker is, the damage may already be done. Those who have encountered a stalker at least once in their lives know the psychological scar it can leave in one’s mind. Most people have heard of the incident where tennis ace Monica Seles was stabbed on court by a stalker. There are different types of stalkers; narcissist stalkers feel that he/she deserves your time, admiration and resources, erotomaniac stalkers believe they are in love with you and think that the feelings are reciprocal. Paranoid stalkers are the worst kind, being very prone to violence; they live in a delusional world and cannot be persuaded by rejection and words. A few tips to steer clear of these colorful personalities are discussed below.

How To Cope With A Stalker

Confide to someone close that someone is stalking you.
If it comes to a stage where you have to meet your stalker, never meet your stalker alone or in secluded places.
If a situation arises, in which you have to converse your stalker, convince him/her of your choice to be left alone.
Convince him/her that you hold him/her responsible for all his/her harassment, bullying and stalking. Tell him/her that you will take the necessary steps to protect yourself if he/she persists in his/her behavior.
In case of an erotomaniac, the easiest strategy to ward of his/her advances is to ignore him/her completely, do not respond to his/her calls or letters. Return all gifts unopened, do not ever mention him/her any conversations and cut off all ties with people who stand in for him/her.
In more serious cases where a stalker threatens you or your family, it would be better for you to switch addresses and telephone numbers and make sure he/she has no idea of your whereabouts.
Always make full use of the law, get restraining orders, frequent visits by police to check on his/her behavior, etc to control the stalkers behavior. Never cave in to your frustrations and think you can take care of it.
If you have influential friends or know people in clubs or other places who you can be relied on for help in such cases, lean on them and give your stalker a “back-off” notice and tell him/her there will be more trouble for him/her if he/she persists.
When getting other friends involved always make sure to convince them that you don’t have anything to do with a stalker and that he’s/she’s slowly turning from a nuisance to a threat. Stalkers are good at convincing other people that their feelings are reciprocated.
Do not feel bad for the stalker if it ends badly for him/her. The psychological trauma that follows a stalker attack or simply the stalker’s intrusion into your life can be a bit too much to handle at times. Seek help to get over the incident and the stalker.
Keep away from a stalker, do not engage in any form of conversation with him/her, this will only seem like an open door to him/her. Trust your instincts and stay safe.

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