Everyone has some interesting aspect to them; everyone has got something to contribute to a conversation. It is not fair for some of us to be so bold and outspoken and some of us to be painfully shy. Being a great conversationalist is no doubt an art but we are only talking about the bare minimum here. If you can freely converse and open up then you might not be able to relate to the tragedy of people who cannot open up. These people are living in their personal hell of introversion. Their personalities are folded inwards so tightly that even if they want to break loose and come out in open with their ideas and opinions, they cannot. If you are the introvert type then you must know exactly what we are talking about. That lovely self of yours that you have sheathed inside, encased into a shell, carefully protected from any negative judgments, needs to breathe out now. Social interaction is not as bad as we think; most of the times we make it larger than it is, in our heads. Nobody is judging our every move or trying to find that one loop hole in our personality, to humiliate us with their criticism. The truth is, we ourselves are our greatest critics, up to a level that it can make us socially paralytic. Being too much of an introvert can lead to inferiority complex, which is much more complicated to be treated. If we keep our real self leashed inside then for social interactions, we create a pseudo image; the kind of image that fulfills all the norms for a perfectly submissive person, a yes-man, to be able to get acceptance. That is it, people who cannot open up are craving acceptance and they are convinced in their bones that they will not get it as they are not deserving of it. It is a social paranoia, a disease of the mind that restricts a person, affecting his quality of life. But the good news is it can be turned around if dealt with deliberation, perseverance and patience. Since now you have understood what the problem really is, it is time to treat it and here in this article we have mentioned some simple techniques to help you in opening up to people.
Tips For Opening Up To People
It is the key to a bright and social personality. It is understandable that you have got a lack of confidence that is why you find it difficult to open up with people but, you can work on it. It is not magic, it will take a lot of time but the positive aspect of this hard work is it is achievable. And in the mean time you can practice confidence. It does not mean that you project yourself as someone else but, whoever you are, try to put it forth with confidence. You might feel shaky in the beginning, it might feel like you are deliberately behaving in a confident manner and it might tire you off, but keep moving forward with it. It will break your old habit of going into a shell whenever there is a social situation and it will train your mind to act more confidently.
Be Open To Change & Knowledge
It is a known fact that if you will learn more and gather more knowledge then it will make you more confident about yourself. You will in fact become a source of knowledge for whatever knowledge you gathered. This would mean that the next time you are sitting with a bunch of people and a topic of your knowledge springs up, then you would not hesitate and think that if you will give your contribution then you will make a fool of yourself. You will know what you are talking about; it will give you a certain hold over the conversation. This will also help you in making new connections; people who are interested in what you are interested in will automatically be drawn towards you. Keep yourself informed about new trends and changes around you.
It is important to have an inviting body language. We send across a lot of information on who we are through our non-verbal cues. Sitting with closed arms and looking here and there while talking shows that you are defensive, which might end up offending someone. You have got to be careful with what you project with your body, essentially because when people do not know anything about you then they tend to notice and base their opinions about you on how warm or wary you look. It is a good practice to smile often while you are talking to someone and use more open body language.
Be A Good Listener
Do not just be physically there when there is a conversation going on, listen carefully. Be in that moment one hundred percent. Due to your consciousness about your introvert nature, it is quite possible that in an on-going conversation you will be stuck in your head, thinking what will you say and how will you say it. This will just take you further away from that moment and the truth is, you will ultimately not be able to contribute anything towards it and will be left feeling inadequate. Listen to the people more carefully, your cues to be more confident and open lies in these conversations.
Do not be afraid to ask questions when you meet people. You can be the initiator of the interaction if you will ask the questions. It does not only mean that you ask the small and basic questions like ‘how are you?’ or ‘how was the day?’; try to ask bigger and more open ended questions, like: ‘what are your thoughts on Israel?’ or ‘how do you feel about spirituality?’. These questions will certainly lead to a conversation where you will get to know the person better, be more comfortable because it will be the topic of your choice and you will have a hold on the conversation.
When you are supposed to response to someone’s query or questions, stick to that particular topic only. Do not go vague and bring in a lot of factors in that one-dimensional question. Although, you can give an elaborate answer to a question like, if you are asked ‘how was your day?’ then do not just give a closed ended answer and finish it. Tell them about every interesting element of your day, some specific anecdote or an incident that will instill curiosity into your audience. Do not be afraid to share the details; you do not have to be paranoid thinking that nobody must be interested in your stories. You just have to share with confidence.
Do Not Be Afraid
Forget all your fears of getting judged and criticized, it is not the end of your life. It is just another part of your life to know new people, interact with them and be open. Do not let it hamper all the other aspects of your life. Every time you are paralyzed with fear, fight back and tell yourself that you will go past these fears and everything will be fine, nothing is going to crumble down.
Ways To Connect
You should look for different opportunities to connect with people. Meeting new people and trying to open up with them will instill in you a lot of confidence and enthusiasm. It will give you a positive outlook on your personality. You can join groups and activities where you will meet new people and try being open to them in a common environment.
Do Not Judge
Do not do to others what you do not want others to do to you. Judging others and labeling them would only make you less open and more conceited. Give everyone a chance, just like how you would like everyone to give you a chance.
You should practice a few tasks on your own to help yourself be more open and confident. Talk to yourself in the mirror and notice where you fluster and where you look much more comfortable. If you have any known personality who is your favorite and you find him very confidence, watch his interviews and try to learn his tactics and peculiar traits. You should have conversation with yourself out loud more often, so that you lose your inhibitions.
Give Yourself Time
This will not be achieved in a day or two; realistically you would have to understand that it is a gradual process and it might take years for you to perfect this art. But you will achieve a little bit everyday and this little bit will keep showing in your personality.