Ever seen a grown up person behave immaturely and think to yourself what the hell is wrong with this person, when he/she is expected to act sensible and mature at his/her age! It is a paradox because emotional maturity is not related to physical maturity; these two phenomena are poles apart. Emotional maturity is expected to be but, does not grow with your chronological age; which means that no matter how old you are it does not guarantee your emotional maturity. Emotionally mature people are sensible people who take full control of their lives. To say the least, they do not whine, crib or play the blame game; rather they reflect on their lives and on the role that they play in other people’s lives. These people are not on a constant look out for an excuse. Life for them is not a show, therefore every emotion that these emotionally mature people project are real and sorted. These people do not try to complicate their own and other people’s lives. It is suffice to say that emotionally mature people lead a well adjusted life due to their healthy outlook on life. Emotional maturity has many different levels. Its initial level comprises of being aware of your effect on your own life and being responsible for it, not putting your failures on others. Next comes the part where a person starts to get honest with his/her own emotions, not projecting idealistic emotions but being comfortable in exhibiting the real emotions. As one goes upwards in the direction of attaining ultimate emotional maturity, one becomes emotionally open and does not give into suppressing his/her feelings. The next level comprises of the task to become emotionally decisive which can be attained by respecting our own feelings. And, finally reaching the level of emotional detachment which is the direct consequence of the true understanding of emotions and therefore, letting go of all the emotions, whether good or bad; leaving one feeling fulfilled and happy. Let us understand the concept of emotional maturity by learning more about its traits and ways to work on it.
Characteristics Of Emotionally Maturity
Easy Flow Of Love & Affection: Emotionally mature people are open to love and affection. They have the ability to trust people and trust themselves for the receiving and giving of love. They do not have obstructions in their personalities, hampering their ability to believe in goodness of life.
Face To Face With Reality: Emotionally mature people do not waste their time and resources in living in denial like emotionally immature people. They see the situations in life for what they are and not manufacture their own truth and parallel reality. Emotionally mature people always eagerly face the truth of life and are not scared to deal with difficult situations. They do not have shells like emotionally immature people to hide into, while others around them clear up their mess.
Hands On Experience Of Life: Emotionally mature people find it easy to learn from their life experiences. This comes from their ability to see everything in positive light and accepting the reality of life. Whereas an emotionally immature person learns nothing from life; he always conceives the life situations in distortion and never in actuality.
Taking Criticism Positively: Being emotionally mature means that one knows his/her flaws and strengths. This is why he/she does not get flustered when someone constructively criticizes him/her. An emotionally mature person will always value the feedback of other people and will strive hard to become a better person or be better at something.
Hopefulness: Emotionally mature people are hopeful in life, always hoping for the best. They see goodness in everything and never resort to pessimistic tendencies. This makes them confident individuals, always ready to face the life with confidence and self-assurance.
How To Know If You Are Emotionally Mature?
At times, immaturity can also be related to child abuse. Go through the given questions and find out if you’re emotionally mature.
- Do you deal well with a sudden change?
- Do you pay attention to other people's ideas?
- Do you make out your feelings as they occur?
- Do you act wisely and mature enough under stress?
- Do you express your feelings properly?
- Do you take accountability for your actions and behavior?
- Do you control intense emotions and impulses?
If your answer is ‘No’ to any of these questions, it points out part of your life where you are not exactly emotionally mature. Stress, in extreme cases, also makes one to act immaturely. To handle childhood traumas, counseling by a psychiatrist can help.
How To Develop Emotional Maturity
Be A Giver: One should practice unselfishness to achieve emotional maturity. Unselfish behavior instills in a person a sense of genuineness. It makes an individual sensitive towards other people’s needs and emotions, raising him/her from the shackles of conceit. It will end up making that individual, simultaneously, more aware of his/her own emotions.
Understanding Of The Self: One should become insightful in order to gain emotional maturity. The feedback from other people should be considered carefully; any opportunity of improvement should be given utmost importance. If an individual aims at achieving emotional maturity then he/she should shed the defensive attitude.
Surround Yourself With Positivity: One should make a conscious effort to be surrounded by positive people, the kind of people who believe in living their lives with hope and honesty. Since you will get to observe the lives of these people, you can learn a lot from there and apply it to your own life.
Concentrate On The Bigger Picture: Instead of losing yourself in the trivia of life, focus on the bigger meaning of life. Try to take your mind off the problems in your own life and try to concentrate on the things that matter in a bigger perspective. Thinking only about yourself will make you conceited and give birth to regressive feelings like self-pity and self-victimization. Take on a noble cause, like charity work and involve yourself into something constructive.