Emotional blackmail is a form of emotional abuse, directed at controlling the victim’s behavior and actions. Though, the blackmailer tries to present himself to be a well-wisher of the victim, in reality he is just trying to hurt him. In maximum cases of emotional blackmail, the victim tries to do something, which the abuser doesn’t not want him to do or the former wants to do what the latter doesn’t want him to do. It is not very easy to recognize emotional abuse, as it is very subtle and mostly, the victim takes it as a routine behavior. The first step towards dealing with the emotional blackmailer is to realize that, you are a victim of emotional blackmailing. Analyze your own capability in resisting such emotions and check how it impacts your life. Complying will make the blackmailer demand again and again, thus making the victims more and more helpless. Read on to know more about the emotional blackmail and the various ways of dealing with it.
What Is Emotional Blackmail
In an emotional blackmail, the blackmailer will usually do the following things:
Threaten to harm himself/herself, if you do not listen to him/her. Fear is the major weapon these people use to control one’s behavior.
- The person will say that, he/she will feel depressed or sad if you do not do what he/she says.
- Use money as a weapon to control you.
- Pressurize to keep his/her feeling and desires before yours.
- Threaten to go away from you or end the relationship if you don’t listen to him/her.
- Try to make you feel guilty.
- Manipulate you in such a way that you feel compassionate.
- Threaten to hurt you or make things difficult for you.
- Demoralize you to get his/her work done.
- Deprive you of love, appreciation, care, etc.
- Make you feel as if, you are being very selfish and you have become inconsiderate.
- Blame or accuse you and making you responsible for everything that has gone wrong.
- Control and dominate by affection or by withholding attention and affection.
- Attempting to create unrealistic and immeasurable standards of expectations, which someone would find difficult to meet.
Dealing With Emotional Blackmail
- Understand the signs of emotional blackmailing. In most of the cases, the abuser tries to dominate the victim and unrealistic demands are put before the person. They are even subjected to strong verbal abuse. Remember that, the abuser possesses unpredictable behavior, in most of the time.
- The first step towards dealing with any type of abuse is to recognize that you are a victim. Many people go on living with a person for years, without realizing that their partner is abusing them.
- The next step will comprise of resisting any form of blackmail. If a blackmailer threatens to do something bad to himself/herself or to you, just say that, it will hurt you if he/she does something like this, but you have no choice than to do what you are planning to do.
- Stay logical. This prevents you from being manipulated. Though, more challenging than it actually sounds, be prepared to stay calm. You may feel that, giving in to them is much easier; however, remember that complying to their demands will make them demand again and again. It is always good to break the cycle, by either distancing yourself from the abuser or by resisting hard.
- Try understanding the difference between being requested to do something and being forced to do something, through emotional blackmailing.
- Never ever believe the negative things the blackmailer says about you. He/she is only trying to make you feel guilty and agree to what he/she is saying. Just have faith in yourself and do not fall into the trap.
- Try to communicate with the blackmailer. Tell him/her that, when two people live together, they have to deal with differences in opinion too. It is not necessary to agree on every issue. You can agree to disagree and still be together.
- In the end, if none of the above options work, it is better to seek professional help. Don’t be ashamed of going to a psychiatrist. Remember, many people in this world suffer from emotional problems and you are not the odd one out.
- Most of the people, who indulge in emotional blackmailing, are always close to you. Most of them may not be aware of what they are actually doing. So, if you are the victim and the blackmailer is close to you, try to make him/her realize, what he/she is doing and how his/her deeds always put you out of your comfort zone.
Emotional blackmailing may not be that difficult to deal with, if you have a perfect approach. Everyone is capable of using emotional blackmail to get what they want. Don't let yourself become a victim. Apply the tips in this article and protect yourself.