Emotional Intimacy

In any relationship, whether it is by birth or formed by us, with members of the same sex or opposite sex, plain friendship or love; almost all of us look for emotional intimacy. Now the question comes as to what exactly is emotional intimacy? Though it is very difficult to exactly explain the feeling, one can say that it is the feeling of security, support, trust, comfort and safety that we experience when we are with someone else. The person might be our friend, lover, spouse, father, mother or even sibling, since emotional intimacy is not restricted to a single person.

 

When you feel emotional intimacy in a relationship, you do not have to think twice before saying anything. You say what you really feel like, act like you want to and just be yourself. You don’t need to adhere to the norms of what is considered proper by the society. The person with whom you are emotionally intimate knows you inside-out. At the same time, you also let him be what he/she really is and do not judge him/her by conventional standards. Though intimacy is something that develops on its own, you need to be careful before forming such emotional bond with a person, since he/she becomes aware of your vulnerabilities too.

 

Emotional intimacy is not something that you can develop deliberately. However, you can definitely build up on the emotional intimacy you share with a person, especially your partner (husband/wife). Just try working together on the aspects mentioned below.

 

The first step towards building intimacy is acceptance. In a relationship, both the partners need to accept each other as they are. Expecting the other person to change as per your wishes is not going to work at all. Learn to value the other person for what he/she is, rather than condemning for what he/she isn’t. At the same time, accept yourself for what you are and stop trying to be someone else.

 

For getting attached to a person emotionally and becoming intimate with him/her, we need to surrender ourselves. Stop building a wall around yourself and let the other person see you as you are. For gaining acceptance from another person, you need to come out of your shell. You have to step forward and let him/her see you, together with your strengths, weakness and vulnerabilities.

 

For surrendering yourself to someone, you need to trust him/her and have faith. Being suspicious or cautious all the time will not get you anywhere. Though we agree that it takes time to build trust, don’t prolong it by being too apprehensive and guarded. Always let yourself go with the flow and try not to restrict yourself too much and too often.