Whether fate took him away from you or you decided to part ways, being single again is definitely not an enjoyable feeling. On top of that, if you have kids, your responsibility increases manifold. Though a single mother can very well manage her career as well as kids, the need of a father figure cannot be wished away completely. Along with that, leading a single life, without any companion to love you, is not a very appealing idea. This is the reason why after sometime, many single moms start dating and eventually get married. In the following lines, we have provided some useful dating advice for single moms.
Dating Tips for Single Mothers
- First of all, you need to make sure that your kids do not oppose the idea of your being with a man from the start. For this, it is necessary to ease them gently into the picture. When you go for the first date, just say that you are going out with a friend, rather than announcing that you have a date.
- When you are out on a date, make sure that even your mind is there. Calling up the babysitter every 15 minutes, to enquire about the well being of your children, is a strict no-no. It means that you are not yet ready for a new relationship and the same will be conveyed to your date.
- When you are on a date, remember that it is all about you and that guy. Constantly talking about your kids is not only going to make him feel bored, but also deprive you of the opportunity to know each other. Talking about them once in a while is okay, but don’t devote your entire time to it.
- Don’t go on a date looking for a parent for your children. First, look up to him as a partner for you. It is very important that you like him, only after that can you look up to him as the ‘father’ to your kids. Putting undue pressure on him, in the initial stages only, might make him back off.
- Don’t sacrifice your kids for the date or vice-versa. If the Sunday is for going to a picnic with kids, don’t make plans for a date. Likewise, if you have already fixed up a date, don’t break it because your children suddenly feel like going for a movie. This will avoid competition.
- After you have decided that you like the guy, start telling him about your kids and how much they mean to you. Let him get the idea that your kids come first and you will not compromise on that aspect. A good man will respect you for this and accept your kids as his own.
- Don’t start leaning on him too much in the initial stages only. Things like your son’s low grades in school or your daughter’s poor choice of friends is not what you discuss in the 3rd or 4th date. Give the relationship sometime and let things get somewhat serious.
- After you are satisfied that he loves you and will take good care of your kids too, it is the time to introduce him to your children. This will require great patience on the part of both of you. Began introducing him, little by little, through short, fun activities. Restaurant or amusement park is a good place initially and when your kids become comfortable with him, start including him in family activities.
- Finally, notice his behavior towards your child, especially when he is unaware that you are around. If he tries to discipline or change them, right from day one, getting close to him is not a good idea. He should accept them as they are, just like his own children. Getting concerned is okay, but getting them to do exactly what he likes is not good.