Christmas Funnies

Christmas is that time of the year when people take a break from their routine life and spend some time with their near and dear ones. It is the time to make your loved ones feel special and tell them how much they mean to you. There are a lot of ways through which you can enjoy yourself on Christmas, the primary amongst them being partying. If you are planning to throw a party on Christmas Eve and are wondering how to entertain your guests, then the short and free Christmas funnies provided below will come handy. Share them with your guests and have them rolling over with laughter.

 

 

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Snow

Snow who?

Snow business like show business!

 

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Donut

Donut who?

Donut open till Christmas!

 

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Holly

Holly who?

Holly-days are here again!

 

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Mary

Mary who?

Mary Christmas!

 

Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Wanda!

Wanda who?

Wanda know what you're getting for Christmas?

 

Sign outside a church: "The original Christmas Club."

 

What do reindeer say before they tell a joke?

Answer: This will sleigh you.

 

Why are Christmas trees like people who can't knit?

Answer: They both drop their needles.

 

What is red and white and goes up and down and up and down?

Answer: Santa Claus stuck in an elevator

 

Why does Santa have 3 gardens?

Answer: So he can hoe, hoe, hoe

 

What does Santa say when he falls down the chimney backwards?

Answer: Oh! Oh! Oh!

 

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?

Answer: It's Christmas, Eve.

 

If I'm standing at the North Pole, facing the South Pole, and the East is on my left hand, what's on my right hand?

Answer: Fingers!

 

What do you call a flamingo at the North Pole?

Answer: Lost!

 

What Christmas Carol is a favorite of parents?

Answer: Silent Night

 

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Answer: Snow flakes

 

Which bird can write?

Answer: PENguin

 

What kind of candle burns longer, a red candle or a green candle?

Answer: Neither! Candles always burn shorter!

 

What did the Christmas bell say to the other Christmas bell?

Answer: Give me a ring sometime

 

What do elves learn while in home school?

Answer: The Elf-abet!

 

What do you get when you cross a bell with a skunk?

Answer: Jingle smells!

 

Why do birds fly south in the winter?

Answer: Because it's too far to walk!

 

What do you call a penguin wearing ear muffs?

Answer: Anything, he can't hear you!

 

What sort of insects love snow?

Answer: Mo-ski-toes!

 

What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?

Answer: Thanks, I'll never part with it!

 

Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?

Answer: Because it 'soots' him

 

What did one angel say to the other?

Answer: Halo there!

 

What happened when the snowman annoyed the snowwoman?

Answer: She gave him the cold shoulder.

 

Why is Christmas just like another day at the office?

Answer: You end up doing all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

 

How do you know Santa has to be a man? 
Answer: No woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year.