As Gautam Buddha has rightly said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Managing the feelings of anger and resentment is the key to the survivability of any relationship as well and that includes marriage. Many a marriages have fallen apart due the anger that has accumulated over time. Not just in your marriage, the ability to manage anger will help you in all spheres of your life, making you a person at peace with himself/herself. A happy marriage is all about anger management and not letting resentment to thrive in the relationship. Read the article to know the importance of anger management in marriage and learn how to deal with your feelings of annoyance.
Dealing With Anger In Your Marriage
Different people have different ways of dealing with anger in marriage. While some people internalize their anger to avoid dealing with it, there are others who externalize their anger, directing it towards their spouse, or even kids. Even as internalizing the anger doesn’t lead to any headway in dealing with the situation, externalizing it can make a minor issue snowball into something unmanageable. Whatever may be the case, it is your relationship with your spouse that is being victimized. The bitterness developed due to this anger can consume your marriage and it is here that anger management assumes immense importance. Below given are some tips to help you in dealing with anger in your marriage.
- Do not deny that you are angry. Admit it to yourself that you are angry over a certain issue, instead of living in denial mode. Once you accept what your state of mind is, you will be better prepared to deal with the situation.
- Don’t surrender to your feelings. If you think that you might say something in a fit of rage and regret it later, it is better to walk away from the situation until your emotions are firmly under your control. After all, you don’t want to hurt your spouse.
- Talking it out is a good option to deal with anger. If you are angry with your spouse over a certain issue, the best you can do is to convey your feelings to him/her. Holding it up will only build feelings of resentment that can prove detrimental to your marriage at a later stage.
- Try to find a solution to the issue that is making you angry. Couples, generally, tend to let the situation prevail and this may not allow the anger to subside. Finding a solution to a problem ensures that you will not have to face the same situation again.
- Forgive your spouse. Anger is best dealt with by forgiving your partner and forgetting the bitterness that the issue generated. Always remember that you are lifting a burden off your shoulders by forgiving your spouse.