Marriage Separation

“Marriages may be made in heaven but they all have to be maintained on earth!”

This statement may evoke mixed responses from people who read it. Some may laugh at it and dispose it off as a funny one liner. Some may nod their heads in approval, while for some, it may evoke memories of bitter experiences. Marriage separation is not essentially divorce; rather it is a preventive measure for that. It may be defined as a temporary period of separation of the couple in question, whose marriage has been on the rocks for quite some time. The consequences of marriage separation are considered to be quite positive and help save marriages. Check out the answer to the question, “does a marriage separation help”.

Many couples make the mistake of thinking that the honeymoon period of the marriage will live on forever. It can, provided both of you are ready to work on it and keep the flame of your love burning forever. Life should be lived with each other in a practical way, though romantic gestures once in a while don’t hurt. One must realize that a completely mushy or a completely practical marriage is not possible.
Reach an agreement with each other that even if you separate for a brief period of time, you will not date anyone else and will work on issues that have led to this temporary separation instead. Allow the dust to settle and return back to calm mood. Go for a pamper session at the salon or go out with friends for a football game. It will help calm your nerves and you will be in a better mood to concentrate.
You need to have a deadline for working things out. Indefinitely separating is a disaster. Set a goal like two months and see that you go for counseling sessions. First go alone and then after a month, mutually agree to go together since it concerns both of you. This way, you can address and solve personal as well as joint issues that have been troubling you.
Set a certain limit for contacting each other. You cannot make this work if one of you is calling up every five minutes and saying what hurts and what doesn’t. Stick to a deadline say, one general email per day and one call on the weekend. Don’t talk about what went wrong and emotional stuff. This way, the closeness doesn’t reduce and you get your own private space.
At the end of the period of separation, sit and evaluate as to whether you are ready to come back together or need some more time. This should be done on both levels; individual as well as joint. If one of you needs more time, the other should compromise. It will make the other person realize that you care for his/her need too. This will make things easier when you get back together as you would have learnt the value of sacrifice.

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