Feelings are a living language and a medium to communicate with our inner self as well as with people around us. When difficult feelings are expressed, the depth of your personality comes out and then it is easier to let go of the bad feeling. Self-expression is a key to self-development and a secret to get along with people you love and care about. Blocking them off can be a self prepared weapon to harm yourself, as it makes harsh feeling linger in your heart, hurting and ripping it. Remember, silence can be misinterpreted, but what you speak, has a one and only meaning.
Talking About Your Feelings
Unrealistic it may sound, but life’s most difficult decision should be left to our feelings as no one can judge better. Sometimes it becomes difficult to put your feeling into words, and that is the reason why people often end up saying something either extraneous or awfully hurting. You must learn to speak your heart so that it doesn’t hurt the people you love and care for. These are the steps to follow before you express your self.
- Be Specific About What Or How You Feel - Try to name and analyze the feeling that you want to express. For e.g. upset, lonely, mad, irritated, intimidated or hurt. When you use a general word ‘upset’ or ‘angry’ you make other person either confused or bewildered.
- Don’t Declare It, Share It - If you start like this “I am angry with you” or "You said bad things to me”, it will make the other person agitated in turn. They can feel accused and blamed and turn defensive. Always express what you feel and then come to what you want instead of jumping into a conclusion or making the other person feel guilty. In the above case, “I did not like what you just said" or "I felt it disrespectful and hurting.” is a better way to express what you have in your mind.
- Don’t Impose It - Sometimes it may be some impersonal that has crept into personal conversation and neither of you two is willing to give in. In that case, act like a grown up and accept and respect each other’s viewpoint. You don’t have to oppose other’s opinion just because it’s different from yours.
- Speak It Out - Feeling high, low, nostalgic, pensive, happy and hurt indicate a healthy personality and soul. We need to experience every emotion in life. So don’t deny it, don’t fight it. Just share it. It won’t make you any less a human in other’s view.
Feelings are reflection of our mood, our beliefs and thoughts. Acknowledge and accept what you feel from time to time, it will help you make the right decision and find the person within you.