It is often said that marriage is not only a union of two people, but two families as well. Marriage gifts both the guy and the girl with a new set of family members, called the in-laws. As your in-laws are an important part of your spouse’s life, the marriage makes them crucial for you as well. It is certainly difficult adjusting to a complete new set of people, more or less strangers to you, especially with their needs and requirements. There ought to be arguments, resentments and even anger. At times, you might feel that balancing your life is nearly an impossible dream. However, to maintain family harmony, it is necessary for you to put some extra efforts and try to build a bridge between you and your in-laws. Now, the question that comes to your mind is how to deal with your in-laws. This is not a huge issue, if you are ready to work on the relationship. Here are some tips to help you out.
Tips For Dealing With Your In Laws
Work With Your Spouse
Working through conflicts with your spouse is the first and the foremost step towards effectively dealing with your in-laws. Understand the bond that your spouse share with his grandparents, parents and siblings and encourage him in retaining them. Remember, his parents mean the same to him/her as your parents mean to you.
Laugh Off Rude Comments
Nurturing a good sense of humor can help make dealing your in-laws a lot easier. Try to laugh off the rude comments and insults as far as possible. Don’t let them upset you and don’t let your temper flare, as it will worsen the situation and increase the tension. If you smile at their snide comments, they might just ease up on them. Don’t let them receive the response they hope to have from you, so as to prevent them from making further comments.
Respect Your In-laws
Approach your in-laws the same way you would approach any potential friend. Even if they are not at their courteous best with you, don’t give them more reason to dislike you. It is imperative not to use foul language or yell and insult your in-laws. Respect them, be interested in them and listen to them. The angst will slowly start fading away.
If you are facing difficulties in the relationship or are feeling that your in-laws are being unfair to you, speak to them directly. It is advisable not to communicate through a third party. Try to explain the problem frankly and resolve the matter before it gets out of hand.
Don’t Keep Away Your Spouse Or Children
Trying to prevent your spouse or children from interacting with your in-laws will not solve the matter; rather it will increase the hostility. Allow them to mix freely with your in-laws. In a situation where your relationship with your in-laws is not great, such a gesture might help in making the relations cordial.
Kindness Speaks Volumes
By being kind, you can melt even the hardest of hearts. Bestow your kind attitude towards your in-laws, at every possible opportunity. Convey the message that you are as much concerned about them as their own child. Offer your help whenever needed, take care when they are sick and take care of the house and let them enjoy a vacation. Gradually, you will start liking each other’s company.
Don’t Change Yourself
Shower your in-laws with respect and kindness, but do not change yourself for them. Set your priorities, while keeping everything in mind, and stick to them. Remember, you are under no obligation to change yourself the way your in-laws want to, unless it is for your own good. It is true that if you respect yourself and your decisions, people will respect you as well.
Dealing with your in-laws requires a lot of maturity. You have to accept the fact that they are not your own parents. Hence, things will not be the same and there will always be some formality. Try to put yourself in your in-laws shoes, while dealing with them. Rather than complaining that things are not the same for you, use your instincts and act smartly.