How To Deal With Difficult Family Members

Family gatherings are often difficult to handle – too many people with too many ideas. The fact that blood has to be thicker than water makes it all the more difficult to deal with them. The best part of the deal is that, most of the times, this difficulty is only in the beginning and things straighten out as you go along. But when it comes to dealing with the difficult ones, you are often at a loss as to what to do. They seem to keep hitting you where it hurts the most, keep adding more oil to the fire called guilt, which ultimately consumes your ability to be happy and love yourself. The first thing to remember is to get rid of the guilt, it is your construct and you are better without it. Then, you must remember how to deal with the individual types. Check out how to deal with different types of difficult family members.

 

These people are easily the most irritating and gossiped about among the lot. They just sit around at any social gathering, refusing to talk to anyone. Their facial expressions always seem to say “I am better than you.” But we must remember that many a times, they are just too shy to involve themselves in any small talk and feel uncomfortable at social gatherings. Thus, they cannot always be blamed. You must try and make them feel comfortable but if they still refuse to relent, then you are not to blame. Remember to greet them each time, be polite with them, but don’t let them get the guilt trip going!

 

They are ones who use others as a means to get ahead and never contribute anywhere. They are the ones who always turn up during the time you are having your dinner and ask for anything from a cup of sugar to the permission to use your washing machine to wash their clothes. Most such people live too close for comfort and keep dropping in at times when it is most convenient for them and most inconvenient for you. Try to keep them as away from yourself as possible. If you can afford to, tell them on their faces that such an attitude will not be accepted. Or else, tell them you have something important to do and that you have to leave immediately. They would then be forced into leaving too.

 

These ones always seem to know better how to do anything and play on a person’s guilt to make them feel small in their own as well as in everybody’s eyes. They will never be able to do anything by themselves but will always complain that stuff is not done properly. The first thing you must remember about them is that you are not the only victim, so try and keep the guilt in check. If the person is actually right, take their advice; if not, ignore them and find a way to get out of the room and give them the opportunity to blame someone else.

 

These are the adult versions of the spoilt brat who are so selfish that they want everything their way. They refuse to accept the fact that things are not the way they would want them to be, so they almost throw tantrums like children and embarrass themselves. The way to handle them is not to give in to them and let them throw an ‘adult tantrum’ and make a fool of their own selves. They are not your responsibility and you should neither feel guilty about them nor make excuses for them.

 

These are the ones who like to argue just for the sake of arguing and find it difficult to get on through a party without making at least one person unhappy and grumpy. Arguing with them is like wrestling with a pig, that loves to wallow in filth, but the question is do you like the same. So take the easy way out and agree with whatever they say; if they cannot turn any topic into debate, they will not be able to argue.