Many cultures define feminity and feminine qualities in many different ways. The worst part is that these constructs are defined by men and have never taken the female point of view into consideration! For centuries, men have defined feminine behavior in completely un-feminine terms and women have accepted it. Only nowadays, women are beginning to question the rules, laid down almost like a model code of conduct, as if all morality rests on the shoulders of a woman. Don’t worry women; it does not. Still there are some ways to be more feminine from all angles and in all spheres – more womanly, more ladylike and more girlish. To give credit where it’s due, feminine qualities are a combination of all these three – a woman, a lady and a girl. Here’s how to be each one of them – in mind, body and spirit.
Tips To Be More Feminine
Feminine nature is a combination of three distinct character traits that we normally see in women. Since we are so good at juggling roles in a day, most women will have no issues switching between being womanly, ladylike and girly. Read on to know how and when to be each of these.
The character traits of a woman are compassion, patience, being a good listener and being unconditional about giving love. The womanly qualities should come out when in the company of close family, younger siblings and cousins, children of friends, and also with your spouse. Here’s how to be womanly:
- When in the company of youngsters, without compromising on your seniority, listen to the issues they face. Never, under any circumstance, try to be patronizing – only men pass judgments without thinking about anybody else’s feelings! Make the youngsters feel that they can trust you with their personal feelings. If the need arises, offer a shoulder to cry on.
- When in the company of your own family, help your mother in whatever she does, be gentle and caring with your younger siblings and respectful towards the older ones. Do little things for both your parents – bring them gifts when you come over and show that, after all, “… a daughter is a daughter till the end of life.”
- When in the company of your in-laws, be considerate about the various members – ask after their health and offer to help them in case they need it. Treat your in-laws as your own family members and show patience with them. If they are critical of you, show control and consideration, while at the same time, maintain your own individuality. Never fight with your mother-in-law over your husband – in fact never fight with any woman for a man!
- When in the company of children, be genuinely affectionate and try to keep pace with their imagination. If a child is crying and needs attention, immediately entertain him/her. If you find two children fighting, try to solve the fight in a completely impartial way and make sure they do not fight again. Try not to shout at either of them, in any circumstance.
A lady possesses grace, poise, elegance, control, intellect and individuality. It is best to be ladylike in the company of unrelated men and women, or the kind who may scrutinize you too much. Here’s how to be ladylike:
- When in the company of unrelated men and women, say at a social gathering or party; sit in just the right posture – the kind that reveals comfort, poise and confidence.
- Make eye contact with everyone and be genuinely polite with all of them. Do not raise your voice too high, show too much emotion; maintain control and grace under all circumstances.
- Make sure your attire suits the occasion – it should be flattering, but not too tight; comfortable but not too baggy.
- When being talked to, make sure you listen intently and do not cut anybody short. This is a quality that is associated with a good debater – women often end up cutting short their opponents in a debate, which is seen as unsporting and unladylike. When the person has finished speaking, then begin to say.
- Do not resort to the use of abusive language under any circumstances – only sailors use such language!
- Educate yourself and be independent. It is the new addition to feminine behavior that is slowly gaining acceptance; as far as possible, try to manage without a man – be it for taking decisions about your life or doing stuff around the house and outside.
- Have the reins of your life in your own hands, even as you take the opinions of the various people who matter to you. Do not, under any circumstances, hand over the remote control of your life to anyone else, not even your parents, least of all to your spouse or in-laws.
- Even if you are hurt by the comment a man makes, smile or laugh off the comment. Men are so insecure they may eventually apologize!
Girlish or girly behavior is associated with the qualities of playfulness, loving yourself for what you are, enjoying every moment of being a woman and taking care of your body. One can be girlish in the company of close friends, especially female friends, when with oneself and when alone with the spouse.
- When with your girlfriends, have a sense of humour – laugh at yourself and take life as less seriously as possible. There are too many problems to worry about – these are a few moments in which you can enjoy being yourself.
- Love your body and take care of it. Exercise regularly, not to be thin, but to be fit. Enjoy your favourite foods, but in control and take care of your skin and hair – they are those that make you truly beautiful and also reveal the good health or ill health.
- Listen to music when all alone and, if possible sway or dance to it, just as a way of celebrating your personhood and feminity. Feel completely comfortable with your body and learn to love it just the way it is. Remember, the topmost models are the biggest victims of body image disorders and cannot love their bodies the way you can. Thank your luck for it.
- When alone with your spouse, be playful and flirtatious. Remind him of the times you were dating. This way, you will find that the love you are giving is coming back to you manifold and will only help you love yourself more.