Abusive men are often survivors of abuse themselves. The abuse meted out by them can range from emotional and verbal to physical and sexual abuse. Very often, one or more of these signs can be seen in a single person. For instance, an emotionally abusive person can also be a verbally abusive person or a combination of all abuse types. Control games, violence, jealousy, withholding sex and refraining from emotional contact - all this portrays an abusive relationship. One can recognize the signs of an abusive man only after a few meetings, that too only if his behavior is studied carefully. Often, abusive men will tell you that they love you and that they will change, to keep you indulged in the relationship. However, unless and until professional help is taken, this change is very difficult to come by. Read through the following lines to know the signs of abusive men.
Warning Signs Of An Abusive Man
Jealousy & Possessiveness
An abusive man will become jealous of your family members, friends and co-workers - anyone to whom you are close. He will try to isolate you and accuse you of cheating or flirting with other men, without any reason. He will see you and your kids as his property, instead of unique individuals. He will always be on your head, asking you where you were and with whom, in an accusatory manner.
An abusive man will demand a lot of time from you and want to be the center of your attention at all times. He will easily become angry if you start showing signs of independence or strength.
Abusive men always consider themselves to be right, want to win and be in charge of the situation. They will talk down to you, to make you feel weak and portray themselves as powerful. This power makes them feel better about themselves, as abusive men are frequently insecure.
In case of a fight, an abusive man will try to give crazy and stupid arguments, to turn the blame on you. He will force you to think that it is your fault that he is being abusive. The only option left with you will be to feel sorry and accept the mistake as your own.
After the abuse is over, you will find that the person’s mood starts swinging, from aggressive and abusive to apologetic and loving.
Actions vs. Words
An abusive man often breaks promises, says that he loves you and then starts abusing you for no reason at all.
A verbally abusive man will criticize you frequently. An emotionally abusive man will withhold sex, emotional intimacy or play the “silent game” for punishing you, when he is unable to get his way otherwise.
Unwilling to Seek Help
An abusive man will never acknowledge his faults and blame his behavior on a childhood trauma or other outside circumstances. He does not realize that there is anything wrong with him and hence, will refuse to seek help.
An abusive man feels that women are stupid and worthless. He does not show any respect towards his mother, sister or any other women in his life.
History of Abusing or Being Abusive
A man’s abusive behavior can be a generational dysfunction. Thus, a person being abused has a greater chance of becoming an abuser. Also, men who abuse animals are more likely to abuse women as well.