A drink a day keeps you high and away. Alcohol makes the world go around. Go ahead and get yourself a healthy dosage of funny drinking quotes.

Funny Drinking Quotes

“When I read about the evils of alcohol, I gave up reading”, said Henry Youngman, a British comedian who was celebrated for his quips and witty humor. Alcohol really is a ‘fun fluid’, it helps you lose your inhibitions, face your fears and makes your conversations so much more alluring. The parties you attend never really begin until everybody present has downed a drink or two. After a drink or two, the ‘moment of glory’ begins, the ice melts, the mood is light, the colors gets toned and everyone around you seems a lot more interesting. Alcohol can really do wonderful things to you. It’s funny how it installs its magic, but the fact is that it does. So, what are you waiting for? Pour yourself a drink (if you can), sip on it, and proceed to read and relish these hilarious quotes on alcohol – ‘mankind’s greatest invention’ – arguably! 
Funny Drinking Quotations & Sayings
  • "One day a man called out to me from the other side of the street asking me for the price of a drink. I beckoned him to come over for it and he waved me away. This has to be the Everest of laziness. " - Jeffery Bernard
  • “Responsible Drinking? Now that's an Oxymoron.” - Aaron Howard
  • “I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.” - Oscar Levant
  • “Friends don't let friends drink light beer” - Unknown
  • “This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought” - Samuel Johnson
  • “What's drinking?A mere pause from thinking!” - George Gordon 
  • “I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.” - George Best
  • “I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.” - Brendan Behan
  • "Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time." - Catherine Zandonella
  • "They who drink beer will think beer." - Washington Irving
  • "I am a drinker with writing problems." - Brendan Behan
  • "He was a wise man who invented beer." - Plato
  • “Yes, madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.” - Winston Churchill
  • "Work is the curse of the drinking classes." - Oscar Wilde
  • "I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go for a week without a drink." - Joe Lewis
  • "I got so wasted one night I waited for the stop sign to change, and it did." - Steve Krabitz
  • "I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep." - George Best
  • "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind." - Humprey Bogart
  • "I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry." - Robert Benchley
  • “When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!” - Brian O’Rourke

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