Funny Alcohol Quotes

“Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder”, a quote by Kinky Friedman, simply says it all! Had it not been for other fascinating subjects like women and beauty, alcohol would have probably topped the list of subjects to have inspired the maximum quotes. Nevertheless, it still comes a close next. Interestingly, alcohol has been the focus of quite a few statements, laced with sublime humor, that make for a rather profound insight on the realities of life. The article comes up with some funny alcohol quotes that will bring an instant smile on your face. Read on to find which one echoes your opinion on alcohol the most.

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

 

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

 

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

 

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.

 

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.

 

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. They wake up in the morning and that’s the best they’re going to feel all day.

 

I’m not as think as you drunk I am.

 

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.

 

Alcohol removes inhibitions - like that scared little mouse that got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: "Now bring on that damn cat!"

 

I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.

 

I have made an important discovery…that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication.

 

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

 

I drink to make other people interesting.

 

The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the forth for my enemies.

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.

 

“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”

 

"Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol."

"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."

"I can't die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver."

 

Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into.

 

The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whiskey. By diligent effort, I learned to like it.

But the greatest love--the love above all loves, Even greater than that of a mother... Is the tender, passionate, undying love, Of one beer drunken slob for another.