Leo Tolstoy said about marriage, “What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility”. Earlier, marriages were considered as union for lifetime but with time, this notion of marriage has changed. Incompatibility, aggression, and lack of communication have resulted in rapid rise of divorce. Today celebrities get married and split so quickly that before you come to know who married whom, divorce lawyers are already in. Remember Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman? Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock? However, there are some Hollywood marriages, which have passed all tests of times successfully. Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson met on the set of the movie, Volunteers, back in 1985, and got married in 1988. Since then, they have never looked back. However, the marriage that needs a special mention is of Courtney Cox and David Arquette. The couple doesn’t believe in divorce but it does believe in marriage counseling. Courtney Cox said in an interview, “It's so easy to grow apart. However, marriage takes work.That's why I choose to work on it. Therapy helped us.” It’s true that it’s hard to work on marriage but too easy to walk out of it. One key thing to motivate you is to think of the reasons you got married to him/her and you would like to make this relationship everlasting. Here are some tips on saving your marriage.
How To Save Your Marriage
- Most often, it’s lack of communication between partners, which results in divorce. It’s very important to open the channel of communication. Start communication with a topic, which your spouse enjoys to discuss about. For instance, if your spouse likes to discuss about parties and new fashion trends, then start your discussion with these topics and at the right moment, introduce your marital problem. When your partner shares his/ her view on the problem then just be a good listener. Don’t give him/ her sharp reactions or start playing blame games. Arguments are not a method of communication. So, with a calm mind, listen, share your points, and find a solution to the problem.
- It’s important to spend some time together. You might be busy working, cleaning, cooking, or making kids do their homework. However, you need time to spend together. So, it’s important to plan vacations together. You could also plan weekend outings together and spend some leisure time doing what you both enjoy. This will give you a chance to share your feelings with your spouse and listen to his/her feelings. Some quality time spent together will surely build up your relationship.
- It’s important to control your anger in a sensitive relationship like marriage. In an argument, think before you respond. Bitter words are difficult to heal. Before responding, ask yourself whether you have a valid point. If yes, then calm down and communicate it with your partner. Don’t assume that your spouse knows what is troubling you.
- Compliment your spouse on things he/ she does for you. If your husband has cooked dinner, while you were busy at work, he surely deserves a compliment. Similarly, if your wife has been supporting you, by taking care of both kids and her office work, she too deserves a compliment. Never in any case, take your spouse for granted.
- You are not a critique of your spouse rather you are his/her companion. Your spouse might have certain faults or habits, as no one is perfect. So, don’t judge your spouse too harshly. Be gentle and convey him/her things politely.
- It s a general belief that romance after marriage dies. Don’t let this happen in your marriage. Kindle the spark of love in your marriage. Gifts, compliments, romantic cards are not limited to courting period only. They have the same charm after marriage too. Treat your spouse with the same courtesies as when you were dating. This will surely rekindle the lost spark.
- After marriage people generally tend to neglect themselves. They don't care that much about their appearance, outfit and body as they did before marriage. Do something for yourself. If you're feeling self-conscious about your body, then probably it’s the time to lose weight. Join an exercise program, which will help you lose weight and keep fit. It’s never a bad idea to buy yourself a new outfit and dress to impress your spouse.