All of us know that love and patience heals everything, even jealousy; somehow, we forget this little axiom when the situation actually arises. When our boyfriends, or sometimes even our husbands begin to frequently see the colour green, we fly off in a fit of rage and accuse them of being too possessive. We forget to acknowledge what our husbands refuse to accept – that the problem lies with them and not with us. They are insecure about the relationship, unsure of their abilities and secretly know that we women could find better partners than them at any given point of time. Since we are sure that we want to spend our lives with them and no one else, it is up to us to salvage the relationship before the argument turns to dispute. Here are some ways to deal with a jealous husband.
How To Deal With A Jealous Husband
Here are some ways to deal with your husband’s bouts of jealousy in a positive and constructive way:
Men who are jealous will blame you for real or imagined attention that you paid to a man on the road, a male celebrity, a male colleague, or even one of his friends. They will read unnecessary meanings into perfectly innocent remarks and will blame you of being anything from being a coquette to being promiscuous to having betrayed them. They will not be able to tolerate that you could think of, talk to, or talk about any other man except them. They will try to make you lose your self-esteem just like they have lost their own so that you feel as bad as they do. At all these times, you must remember that the fault is not yours, even if they may like to say that to you. Try to reason out with him in a serene and controlled way so that it doesn’t catapult into a dispute.
Calling At Office
Men who are jealous will call up their wives in the office every two hours of so ostensibly "just to say hi/ I love you” but they are actually keeping tabs on you. They may even drop in at your office and ask your friends about where you are and who you regularly hang out with. If you find out that, your husband is doing the same, assure him that he need not ask anyone else but you about who you talk to and what you do at the office. Also, tell him outright, though in a low controlled tone that it will be a big blot on your career because no employer likes to have a worker whose husband will keep dropping in, much to the chagrin of other workers.
When he questions you repeatedly about your friends, especially the male ones, he is turning into a green-eyed monster. He will not appreciate you talking to any other man, will sulk or create a scene if a male colleague dropped you home late in the evening and will try to monitor each move of yours after one such incident. In such cases, you will have to give him constant reassurances that you are trustworthy and that you will not leave him.
Take Time Out
Every once in a while, take time out for him and spend the time only with him. Ask your friends and colleagues not to call or disturb you during that time; if possible, even your parents. Mommies and daddies understand; jealous hubbies do not. Especially not when their ego has been stoked the wrong way.
Since it is an accepted fact that jealous men are low on self-esteem, it is up to you to build his sagging self worth. Compliment him regularly and encourage him to build friendships with other men and women (that way you can even give him a taste of his own medicine!). Ask his friends to take him to a boys’ night out every once in a while and have some boys-will-be-boys fun.