Most people who love to argue are thought of either, a pain in the neck or, fit for being a lawyer, either of which options could be considered as an insult! When Nobel Laureate Dr Amartya Sen wrote in his The Argumentative Indian, which talks about how Indians are open to debate and cultural pluralism, he forgot that we are soon catching up to the western concept of bigotry and trying to get one up on someone. Sometimes, especially when arguing for something that matters to a person, it is important to get the other person to agree to your way of thinking, which can be quite exasperating, when one considering how the whole ‘intellectual plurality’ seems to have spoilt the masses into thinking that they are entitled to any kind of opinion! It has now become increasingly difficult to steer an argument in the direction that you would like it to. However, that’s not reason enough to worry. Here’s how to successfully lead an argument.
Tips To Have Successful Arguments
Here are some ways in which you can successfully steer an argument in the direction you want.
I Am All Ears!
If the person you are arguing with matters to you – for instance, it could be your father or your friend – you would not wish them to lose their temper or to take you wrong. Thus, it is best to listen to what your opponent wishes to say. For instance, try to determine the time – for how long each person has to dispute their point, or mentally note when you are taking too much time to put your own point across, and allow the other person to have an opportunity to say their side of the story as well. Take care never to interrupt the other person, it is better to make a mental or written note of a point you would like to return to, but do not interrupt the other person’s side of the argument to catch them at one point, you would like to argue. Take care never to indulge in mocking or insulting the other person in the course of the argument, because by doing so, you would be denigrating the level of argument, apart from deviating from the point. Always remember that everyone is entitled to his or her opinion and, though you may not agree with the person, if you are arguing it is your duty to be tolerant of others opinions and respect their right to say what they feel. This kind of sub standard behaviour is what people see in children, who do not understand the difference between a fact and opinion, and can lead to your own undoing in an argument.
Stick To The Point
Often, as we might have noticed, people tend to deviate from the main point of an argument though they do it with the intention of creating a real or hypothetical situation to the point they are trying to prove to their opponents. If you must use such situations, you can use them in your argument, but be sure to steer clear of any of the extremes. Make points that are easy to grasp and effectively drive the point across to allow your listeners to comprehend and chew on the points you are raising. By following these steps, you will guarantee that you successfully arise from the argument whether or not you win it in the end.
Calm And Cool Wins The Argument
One of the most important ways to emerge victorious from a quarrel is to safeguard one’s own dignity. All one needs to do to accomplish it, is to remain calm, never raising one’s voice, and most importantly, never losing control, even after one has lost his or her temper. Once you begin to lose your control or composure, you not only lose of the argument but also the respect . The points you make will not be paid heed to or even considered most of the time if you cannot keep your cool while you argue. If the topic that is being debated on is extremely controversial or important to you, then it is best to take some time out to calm yourself and take a few deep breaths if you feel that your temper may go out of hand. If you were to maintain your composure, your opponents will have more incentive to consider your points. You will also seem more intelligent and rational by maintaining your temper and hence your dignity. Lastly, by remaining calm while arguing, you will be less likely to anger the person you are arguing with, and be able to mantain an amicable relationship with the person you are arguing with.