Needless to say, a fart squeaking at the wrong time surely ruins an evening, especially in the company of others. Read this article to know tips on how to fart silently in public.

How To Fart Silently

What can be more embarrassing for you than letting out a loud fart at workplace or a dinner party? Farting is a part of life, but at times we have to let out the gas at the most inopportune moments. Although the farts are harmless, they are detrimental to our social status and, in extreme cases, to our self-esteem as well. The most effective and organic way to solve this problem is to train yourself to silence your flatulence. After mastering such techniques, you will no longer have to face the fear of social embarrassment or mockery due to your loud trumpet butt. Read through the following lines to know how to help yourself when that special moment of the urge arrives and fart silently.
Farting Silently In Public
In Classroom
  • Get up and sharpen your pencil loudly near the bin. While doing so, fart as silently as you can and walk back fast, so that the fumes do not stick to your clothes.
  • Try to get a seat with a puffy surface as such seats reduce the risk of a loud fart to a large extent. In case, you do not find one, sit on your sweater or jacket.
  • Put your weight on one of your buttocks and lean in the same direction as your buttock. Fart silently. Since the smell is likely to go to the opposite direction, your gases will escape to an empty area. 
In Elevator
  • In such a situation, time is very critical factor. Emit small bursts as floors are reached and the electronic indicator emits the beeping noise.
  • You can also use the time when the doors are opening and closing.
  • Show subtle signs of disgust to the people entering the elevator as though they are the ones emitting a foul smell.
  • If the above methods fail, move out of the elevator and take the stairs instead. 
While Shopping
  • Find an empty aisle and rip the fart there. Move out of that place as soon as possible.
  • You can also lean over a railing, in case of a shopping mall and fart silently. 
While Eating Lunch
  • Laugh out loudly and get the whole table involved in the humor, while secretly ripping out the fart.
In Pool
If you need to flatulate in the pool, the best option is to get out. In case this option is not for you, check out the following ones: 
  • Dive to the deep end of the pool, fart and swim back to the surface before the bubbles follow you.
  • You can also splash water, while farting, to hide the rising bubbles.
  • Jump in the water while farting. The water will surround you and the bubbles and no one would be able to smell it underwater. 
In Library
  • In case you are in the quiet sanctuary of a library and you need to exhort your deadly fumes, move to an empty book aisle and release them.
  • When surrounded by people everywhere, try to release bits of your toxins, while you are walking.
  • You can move to a bathroom in order to relieve yourself. 
At A Sleepover
  • Raise your voice while talking and release your gas immediately. If it causes a smell, ask out loudly, “Who the hell farted?”
  • Wait for everyone to laugh hard and rip it then.
  • While lying down to sleep, cover yourself with a blanket and fart silently without being detected.

How to Cite

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