Then - He said you were the love of his life, and you blushed. He said he had never met anybody perfect than you, and you felt your heart skip a beat. He said he would take care of you in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, in joy as well as in sorrows, as you tried to hold back that dew beginning to form in your eyes. He said he would like to make you his wife, and you couldn’t hold back your tears anymore. Love was in the air and the flu caught you too. You said “yes” and hugged him close to your heart.
Now - He says you can’t talk to your friend anymore, and you look away in disgust. He asks you to hold back your behavior with his relatives as it embarrasses him, and you feel your heart sink while you stand there alone, wondering what you did wrong. He says you are holding him back and tries to dictate terms to you, as you try to hold back that dew beginning to form in your eyes. He shouts at you, tries to physically hurt you, and asks you to stay away from intruding in his life. It was the flu alright, and it has left. You watch him turn around and start to move away from you, as you feel a piece of your heart being taken away from you.
Being stuck in a controlling relationship is the most painful and hurtful thing to free ourselves from, psychologically, as it can create feelings of self doubt, low self esteem, and lack of trust in others. And we end up locking ourselves in this purgatory, not knowing whether our relationship is among the dead or the living, and not knowing whether to move on or to stay in; because we’re not sure of what happened - wondering if it’s just a dark night or has the sun permanently set for the relationship? Read it further to know about the signs of a controlling relationship and determine yourself if it’s just the night or the permanent setting of the sun.
Warrning Signs Of A Controlling Relationship
- A raised tone and frequent outbursts of temper while dictating terms, even in the most normal of circumstances, is the first sign of a controlling relationship.
- Paying no attention towards your expectations and preferences, and even stopping you from doing what makes you happy is another glaring signal of things not going right in between the two of you
- Is he/she asking you to not talk to certain friends or your family members because he/she wants to cut off all your support outlets? If yes, know that he/she doesn’t want you discussing anything to anyone about your relationship and get a second opinion.
- Not allowing you any space for personal growth or any time just to recuperate your thoughts and energy is also a sign of controlling relationship.
- Lowering your confidence levels by insulting and criticizing you for every other thing in front of other people is another sign that things are going wayward for your relationship.
- Are you constantly being a victim of verbal abuse and even physical abuse? Is he/she trying to hurt you and get you straight on his/her own yardstick? If yes, then it sure is a cause for worry.
- If you sense constant resentment rather than loving care in every little thing you do, it may be a sign that you are stuck in a controlling relationship.
- If you find yourself apologizing too often, even when it was not your fault chances are that you are trapped in a relationship that isn't mutually benefiting.
- If your partner is too interrogative and raises too many unnecessary questions about everything you do or whenever you talk to the person of an opposite gender, whom you don’t know, know that the trust in your relationship is lowering down.
- Schizophrenic behavior from your partner’s side, loving and caring one minute, and abusing and shouting the other is a sure shot sign that the relationship isn’t as smooth as it was.
- If you find yourself doing things for your partner to make him/her happy that you would have not done otherwise, know that your relationship is not on a mutual level and that he/she is overpowering his/her will on you.
- If negative emotions have taken over the positive ones and if most of the times you feel depressed, sad, and frustrated, it may be a clear sign that you are in a controlling relationship.
- If you get a feeling that you want to break-free from the relationship and go someplace else or force you to think about how it will be if you were in a relationship with a better person, know that your relationship is treading on a downward direction and that your partner is controlling you way too much.
If you think you have all the signs of a controlling relationship in yours, and worse, you are at the recipient end of it, know that such a relationship won’t last long. If you really want to make the relationship work, amend it before it falls apart.