The fear of intimacy is a psychological disorder that hinders a person from forming a relationship with another person. He or she is unable to develop a connection with other people and feels lonely and isolated. The fear of intimacy stems from the fear of getting hurt from a relationship. It is the other side of the fear of rejection. As a result, the person withdraws into a shell, which leads to emotional stagnation. The fear of intimacy can also be due to the fear of losing, and not knowing how to cope later. This inability to act after the supposed betrayal, rejection, hurt, gives rise to the fear of intimacy. The causes are varied. It can be due to a traumatic childhood, emotional trauma, abusive relationship, or loss of a loved one. The fear of being dominated by the other person also develops, a fear of getting intimate. A person suffering from the fear of intimacy is always faced, with the question ‘What if’ this or that happens. Given below are tips to help you overcome your fear of intimacy.
How To Overcome The Fear Of Intimacy
- The more you bottle up your fear of intimacy, the more it grows and the harder it becomes, to overcome. So, the first task in order to get over this fear, is to face the fact that you have a fear of getting intimate with people, and steel yourself to come out of it. Hiding behind emotional barriers will only weaken you.
- Bare your heart to your partner, keeping nothing hidden. Share and exchange your thoughts and personal experiences, so that you get your hidden fear out. By talking, the fear tends to dissolve. The most difficult task is to get it out.
- Be honest. This is perhaps the only requirement, in overcoming your fear of intimacy, other than an understanding and honest partner. Be honest to face your fear, and have a determination, to get over it.
- Develop a friendship with your partner. Seek out areas, where you both are compatible, and nurture those. This will help you to be transparent, hiding nothing.
- Go one, at a time. Share and discuss your pain, fear, and experiences, step by step. Start from simple ones, and gradually move on to the difficult.
- Involve your partner in day-to-day activities, like cooking, gardening, or simply go for a movie, or to a restaurant.
- Overcoming the fear of intimacy is a long process. So don’t get disheartened and withdraw to your shell, in between.
- Don’t be ashamed of yourself. This shame for the self can cause people to develop a fear of intimacy, as they are subconsciously ashamed to face others.
- Value yourself. Most people with a fear of intimacy have a feeling of worthlessness, deep down themselves, which they do not want other people to find out, and so they gradually begin to develop a fear of getting intimate. That is why, to overcome this fear a person must value his or her self. Do things, which will give you self-satisfaction and a creative boost.