There are breakups and more breakups. They just leave behind people in a sorry state of affairs – the men go drinking and the women sit around with a bag of tissues, each venting their feelings in liquid form. The only difference is, that while one liquid comes out, the other goes in! Jokes apart, breaking up often makes people more vulnerable to hurt than they were before the end of the relationship, not to mention the bitterness that creeps in their behaviour. This happens because many don’t let go of the relationship, in their minds, long after they have ended. We tend to wallow a lot in self-pity and neither forgive ourselves nor forget the person concerned. If you would like to know how to let go of a relationship, read on.
How To Effectively Let Go Of Past Relationships
Here’s a list of all the things you will have to let go of, in order to let go of a relationship completely:
The anger, animosity, and resentment you may feel towards your partner, or your former partner has to go. More often than not, there is a sense of betrayal if he or she cheated on you, or there is a feeling of guilt if you were the one responsible for the break-up. Don’t stifle your emotions and bottle them up, but give yourself the luxury to grieve over the demise of what could have been and possibly was, a wonderful relationship. Remember however to set a time limit – you cannot keep wallowing in self-pity – it will soon turn into a habit.
We do often notice that, when we have been in a relationship for a considerable number of years – a few months, a year, or several years – we tend to lose our individuality. We get used to having the other person around and derive comfort from the familiar. It isn’t easy to start getting used to coming home to an empty house or having dinner by yourself. It is something you will have to steel yourself to do if you have to get rid of that feeling of dependence that you had felt towards your former love.
Contact With The Former Flame
When you have to let go of someone, remember that it has to be a clean break. Don’t tell yourself you’re going to call her one last time or give it just one more try, because it will never work out. Steer clear of the temptation to call up friends and ask them if he’s already seeing someone new or if she’s as depressed as you are. If you are serious about letting go of your relationship, you have to carve out a new existence, one that has no room for old baggage.
Possible ‘What Could Have Been’ Situations
You should get out of the habit of dwelling on what might-have-been. Letting go of a relationship involves coming to realise that it was not meant to be and that you have to set new goals and build new dreams. You should not harbor any unrealistic expectations or hopes that you may get back together. You also have to stop thinking that he would change and perhaps become the person you want him to be or your problems will just get sorted out. Realize that the relationship has run its course and it is time to let go.
Feelings Of Failure And Inadequacy
Just as it takes two to tango and two hands to clap, it also takes two to makes a relationship work. Don’t berate yourself for what you could have done better or how you could have been more understanding. You’ve probably been terribly hurt but have also learnt a few valuable lessons about life and love in the process – something that will stand you in good stead for the journey ahead. When you are ready to let go of a relationship and reconcile yourself to keeping the past in the past, you will experience an enormous weight being lifted off your shoulders and a sense of accomplishment that you have come out of the whole experience as a much stronger person.