"If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others." - Haim Ginott. It is believed that children are the image of their parents. In today’s times, where both the parents work, and have nuclear families, parenting has become a daunting task. With improved financial and social status, parents indulge into fulfilling all the demands of their children rather than teaching them time tested values and principles. When the situation becomes out of control, parents panic and resort to punishments and threats. A spoiled child can change the life of parents upside down. Steven Friedfeld, a family therapist notes that, “When your child doesn’t have the opportunity to deal with the little disappointments in life by your saying no to her, you may be giving her poor preparation for dealing with the small or large difficulties that may come her way”. Parents are always concerned about their children’s future and also have to deal with their own frustration and exhaustion. The stubborn behavior in young children can have a long term impact on their life including despair and anxiety. As adults, they grow into unhappy individuals and are incapable of handling pressures of life. Luckily, there are ways that can help bring a spoiled child on track by inculcating positive behavior and re-establishing stability to your parenting and home. Read the article to learn how to unspoil your child.
How To Unspoil Children
- When you try to spend needless amounts of time rationalizing your decisions, children can sense their parents’ own doubts. Do not try to explain the reasons of why you are asking your child to do something.
- When disciplining child, it is natural to reconcile with your child to shift away from the situation. Sadly, this sends a wrong signal to your child that they can try to negotiate their way out of the circumstances. Do not compromise on the rules and stick to it.
- Do not try to bargain in the child-parent relationship. You are the authority figure and have all the rights to discipline your child. Explain to your children that if they do not comply with the rules of the house there will be repercussion.
- Make a note of times when your child has demonstrated unwanted behavior in the past week. Watch for patterns of the spoilt behavior connected with any specific time or locations. This will help you in recognizing ways to avoid the bad behavior.
- Terrifying or shouting at children only spoils the situation. When you imply to discipline the child by taking away their allowances, or something that is dear to them like a much-loved toy, or not allowing them to watch TV, do this without uttering the words, as actions speak louder than words. Tell your children by doing in actions that you are serious in your intentions.
- It is possible that your ways of parenting could be distressing the child. It may be because of the guilt of not being there most of the time due to your job, or something that you missed at some point in your childhood days, or perhaps because you are too tired to argue with your child. Accepting your mistakes can help you reason out for alternatives to balance the state of affairs.
- Ensure that people who interact with your little ones including grandparents should be made aware of your strategies and efforts to unspoil the kid. Try to be firm with your plans of disciplining while you test out new ways. Be consistent of the expectations from your child and how you plan to accomplish it.
- Teach your children the value of money. Tell them, they cannot always get whatever they want. Children have to be taught that it is okay not to get what you desire. Teach them that people have to work hard and earn to get what they desire.
- Don’t pamper your child with extravagant gifts. Do not give into peer pressure, just because your kid’s friends have the latest toys or dress does not mean that you have to buy her/him one right then. You can save them to reward it for good behavior.
- Teach your child the need to share and appreciate things in life. Have your child help you donate toys and stuff to children who are less fortunate than they are. This will help your child to appreciate others as well.
- Most parents focus on the negative behavior of the child than appreciating the positives. Encourage your child, applaud whenever he/she curtails his or her tantrums, and reward them positively by playing a game together, chatting, or piggy riding.