Difficult it may be to stomach, but it is true that a lot of people have a tendency to lie even about the simplest of things. This could pertain to divulging information about one’s marital status, residence address, past relationships, etc. While it is another matter that there are various factors goading people to tell such big and small lies, it is important that one learns to detect when the other is lying. This is not difficult and also important for one’s own self. Surely, you don’t want to come across as naïve and taken for a ride by anyone who wishes to. Therefore, for your own well being and emotional protection you must learn the art of recognizing a liar. It is not a very difficult task to figure out if someone is lying. You will see some signs that will help you in identifying a pretender. A lie, whether it is told in a close relationship or an unemotional relationship, weakens the foundation of that relationship. Even the harmless little lies are very detrimental to a relationship. They have the capability to destroy the trust between two people. If you catch a lie then it is advisable to discuss it there and then otherwise it can permanently damage the rapport between you and the person who has been lying to you. You must learn how to be aware of a lie. In this article we have given a few basic points which will help you to catch a lie.
Tips on How to Tell If Someone Is Lying To You
- Keeping an eye on the body language will provide subtle hints to help you reach a conclusion whether the person in question is lying or not. If the concerned person avoids eye contact while speaking, acts fidgety, looks around a lot and constantly shifts position, then it is very likely that he is telling a lie. This is because when people lie they are very conscious of it. They are scared that you can catch them anytime and their whole mind is involved in trying to get away with it. When someone lies, it is a moment of utter anxiety for them; their hearts are racing and hands are trembling but they try very hard to put up a show. If you will show even the slightest of uncertainty through your expressions then you can easily catch your offender because his/her whole demeanor will change.
- Detect discrepancies in the information provided to you by the other person. This could be differences in the same story / stories during re-narration, faults in the details provided, etc. There is a good amount of probability that the liar will go back on what he/she had said earlier on because it is humanly impossible to remember all the details of the story one makes. You have got to be sharp here. If you think someone is lying about something, remember all the details of their story and ask him/her to reiterate it after sometime. If he/she changes some detail then there is your liar!
- See if a person repeatedly refuses to answer any queries. Severe defensiveness could signify he / she is trying to hide some information. A liar will try to manipulate you first but as soon as he/she will realize that you are trying to catch his/her lie, a guard of defensiveness will be put up between you and that person. No matter how much you will try to extract the information out of that person, he/she would act like you are offending him/her.
- Some people have a tendency to accuse the other of the same or being dishonest when he /she have not really been so. In reality this could actually be the other person's own core behavior, which he or she is slapping onto you rather than accepting this fact.
- It helps listening to your gut feeling or intuition at times. You may instinctively feel that a person is lying at times. But do not make conclusions if unsure. In this case, try getting some proof to support your hunch. Because you cannot declare someone guilty without actually proving his/her lie. For this you have to investigate a few factors of the assumed lie that has been told. Be careful, if your assumption is wrong and you call someone a liar irrespectively then you might end up offending this person very much.
- Sometimes, you can also risk asking that person directly if he /she is lying especially when you know that person very well. Generally honest people will admit it in order to get rid of that rotten feeling when lying. And if this person does confess then do not give him/her a hard time about it. It is in human nature to exaggerate and lie. White lies are pardonable anyway. Do not let one lie affect your relationship.
- In case a person admits frankly that he / she had been lying, then it is your responsibility too to try to listen and understand that person's reasons for lying. If this person is very close to you then it is advisable to forgive him/her. Confessions are also valuable to the relationship. It will only make the bond between you two strong. Although it is hard to let go of it and move on but you have got to appreciate other person’s ability to come out in open and accept his/her lie.