While sex is such an integral part of having a baby, when it comes to explaining the same to their child, majority of the people develop cold feet. Having sex-related discussions is not every parent's cup of tea, but it is something that they need to indulge in. If you feel embarrassed when your kid asks questions about sex and try to avoid the same, it will either make him feel ashamed about sexual activities or drive him to sources like books, friends and internet, which may or mat not be complete and accurate. If you still feel hesitant, go through the following lines and know how to talk to your kids about sex.
Talking To Children About Sex
- Try to share an open relationship with your children, encouraging them to come up to you whenever they feel like asking or discussing something on the topic. If you remain very strict with your kids all the time and decide to talk about sex one fine day, they are bound to feel too embarrassed to even listen to the discussion, forget about asking questions.
- You need to start talking about sex, with your children, since a very young age only. For instance, children start exploring as they start growing up, so you will need to tell them the names of their private parts when they are somewhere around 3 to 5 years old. In this context, make sure to tell them the exact name of the parts, matter-of-factly, and not pet names.
- The amount and type of sex education that you give to your children will depend upon their age. If your five-year old son asks 'where do babies come from', you can tell him that they come from an egg that dad plants in mummy's stomach. However, you do not need to explain the lovemaking procedure for the same.
- You need to discuss sex in the proper context, distancing it from how it is portrayed in various types of media. Make your children understand that they cannot view sex in isolation. It is something that follows from commitment, when you are in a relationship. As much as possible, let them see sex in a relationship-context.
- It is always necessary to make your children aware of the consequences that follow from irresponsible sexual behavior. Whenever discussing sex, tell them their actions have very specific outcomes, mainly in the form of pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and emotional reactions. They need to know the end results of their acts.
- Never ever force your children to indulge in sex-related discussions with you. If they feel embarrassed at the mention of sex or try to avoid it, let it be. Just make sure to tell them you will always be there, if and when they want to continue with the discussion. At the same time, let them know of the dangers of incomplete information, from friends, books or internet.
- While talking to your children about sex, you need to tell them not only what happens, but also things like when it should happen or with whom. Another aspect that you need to throw light on is the difference between good touch and bad touch. Tell them that no one can touch their private parts and they should say no when they don't like the way someone is touching them and immediately tell you about it.
- Include all the aspects of sex in the discussion, right from contraceptives to masturbation. The children should know that having sexual fantasies and masturbating is okay, but only in moderation and that too in private. Make them aware of oral as well as anal sex and also the moral and emotional consequences of reckless sexual behavior.