We are often at a loss when it comes to guessing exactly when our child would begin to feel frustrated and throw a tantrum. Most of us ignore the signs – the frustrated whines and the repeated protests – till it blows into a fully fledged act of kicking, screaming and crying. The more we try to discipline the child, the more the child seems intent on venting his or her frustration out in this destructive way and ends up creating an ugly scene. When we have been unsuccessful in preventing the occurrence of a tantrum, it is important to deal with it or overcome it better so as to minimize their occurrence in future. Here are some ways to overcome your child’s tantrum.
Getting Over Your Kid’s Tantrums
Here are ways to get over your child’s temper tantrums in ways that will be acceptable to both you and your child:
Calm And Quiet
It is very important that you keep your calm when your child has lost his. You must understand that out of the many times that children throw tantrums, the only reason they scream and kick is that they cannot handle their own frustration. If you too handle your frustration in an incompetent way, the problem will only be compounded, instead of becoming better. Try your best to remain calm and not get worked up as that might prevent the child from screaming or kicking too much or indulging in any more bad behavior.
Decisions In Your Hands
Children often think their parents do not let them make decisions so make your child feel in control of the situation. Give him or her choices for daily chores like laying the table, eating, getting ready for bed, and so on. Instead of asking your child to go and study, you could ask her whether she would like the mathematics homework first or the science one. Such an approach could prove to be a win-win situation, which will yield the same result as desired. Also, when the child feels like he or she is in control of the situation, then the anger and frustration will also subside and will give way to positive feelings.
The child must know creative and fun ways to channelize his or her anger. You must give your child a pen and paper to write down how he or she feels and what he or she feels like doing, instead of actually doing it. You could offer to tie a small punching bag in your child’s room and have him or her punch it whenever he or she is angry.
Talk The Anger Out
Talk to your child in a way that makes him or her feel validated and understood. Tell him or her clearly that you understand how frustrated they feel and it is okay to feel so; on the same note, try to make them turn to more mature and responsible ways to deal with frustration than to just scream or kick. Buy your child a dartboard and some darts that he/she can play with each time he/she is angry and needs to vent his/her anger out.
Love Will Keep You Calm
The best way to deal with a temper tantrum thrown by a child is to treat him/her with love and respect. Many have forgotten that love can heal almost anything and will not need anything except a little patience and loads of love. Often, children feel like they will not be loved if they misbehaved and you have to break this myth. Try telling your child that it is perfectly normal to feel angry but one needs to be responsible with how it is expressed. Showing love when it is most needed will encourage the child to handle his/her frustration better. Also, since you have handled your own frustration responsibly, the child might learn from you and follow suit.