Being shy suits only the women. Or that’s what the ancient warrior world believed. But not anymore though! The world now knows the difference between shyness and delicacy. And the act of stuttering and stammering in company of people is not classy anymore. Grace is the new class and confidence is in. And all those people who get tongue tied with people around them, they lose out the best this world has to offer - be it the best men, women or even conversations. The world today has little patience for shyness and so people who are shy, tend to get left out in the general race of the world. And that is not a pleasant feeling. But that definitely doesn’t mean that you sulk around and sob in a corner. Because if shyness stagnates you, sulking pulls you down and buries you in self-pity. So take matters in your hand, follow a few good advices listed below and transform yourself to that social birdie you’ve always wanted to be.
Know your strengths and weaknesses. After all, what’s the point of having good listening skills if you are not aware of the same? A good self-knowledge would make you more self aware and confident in company of other people. Also, it would give a boost to your self esteem and sense of self worth.
Self Consciousness Vs Self Awareness
Pointing out and constantly thinking about your weaknesses is being conscious. What you need to practice is acceptance. Accept your weaknesses and be aware of them. That would make you more comfortable in your skin. The more you are aware of your own self, the more relaxed you will be, as you would explicitly know what you are capable of and what not.
Learn To Like Yourself
Liking comes with acceptance. You cannot keep pinpointing your failures to yourself. That is unfair. You must start realising that you are likeable and most importantly, a unique individual. Turn to your close friends and family to know what they like about you and maybe you’ll know what makes you so important in their life. You need not conform to rules. Love yourself and in no time you would shed off those shy robes and get comfortable socially.
Observe the people that you like and gauge what it is about them that you like so much. This is the best way to get inspired and rid yourself of the shyness syndrome. People whom you admire have this intrinsic quality to transforming your life without doing much. Just stay close to such people and who knows you might just be like them!
Visualize & Practice
Think of situations and imagine your responses to them. Visualize yourself walking into a room full of people you may or may not know. Come up with situations and think of your responses to them. Take the help of past encounters and situations for this. Practicing in front of the mirror is another way to come out of the shell and get interactive.
Escapism Is Bad
Never escape a situation because you are feeling shy. Don’t just run away when caught in the spotlight. That’s the worse you can do to yourself. Try to make most of what you can do and bow out gracefully from the scene, instead of making a run for it. Remember, a gracefully handled situation is always better than an escaped one. Your conscience would never forgive you for escapism!
Nobody is perfect and you must understand it. Everyone errs and it’s only when you err that you learn so stop brooding about all those times you slipped on spilled wine in a room full of eligibles. It happens to everyone, so you don’t really have to be singularly paranoid about it.
Many a times, it happens that you are amidst a group of people who have sworn by to keep away from you. In such times, feeling rejected and dejected is natural. However, the trick is not to take this rejection personally. Instead, find a lesson from it and move on.
Practice Social Skills
Sociability is a skill and it is the acquired type. You can practice being social by putting yourself out there and by practicing what to say ahead of time. You might do blunders for a couple of times initially, but that doesn’t mean you stop trying. Learn from your mistakes and go ahead and socialize more. Only then you would turn to a perfect social birdie you always aimed to be.
Am I breathing? Am I relaxed? Am I moving with grace? Am I looking good? Have I done full justice to the party do’s and don’ts? If the answer to all the above question is a confident ‘Yes’, then what is stopping you from having fun at the party. However, in case you are not sure about any of the questions, just make way to the washroom, look at the mirror and say yourself ‘I look gorgeous/handsome’. This would give an instant boost to your confidence. Return to the party and mix with people.
What is Comfortable for You?
Hanging out in bars and clubbing every night is not really everybody’s cup of tea. Just be wherever you are comfortable. If your idea of an outing is a picnic and road trip, then do it and make sure you go out with different, but reliable, groups every time. Do not get worked up if you are Bryan Adams lover stuck in a rockers’ company. Just be yourself and you would be surprised that people would in fact love your individuality!
Make More Friends
Nothing beats this one. The more people you meet, the more exposure you get and that in turn makes you super confident. More people means more points of view, more exchange of information and hence more knowledge and social skills. Also, more people would mean hanging out with different groups and shedding off those inhibitions forever!
Work On Your Body Language
Only twenty percent of the conversation comprises of the verbal one. The rest eighty percent is body language. Study and observe the people you like and then see what is it that make their body language likeable. However, that doesn’t mean you compromise your individuality and copy someone. You can develop your own style according to your comfort. The general idea here is that body language is extremely important, so make sure you don’t ignore that detail. Have a good and confident posture and even your walk must be composed and elegant one. Once this is achieved, you would feel the confidence levels rising within you.