“First comes Love, then comes marriage, then she comes with a baby carriage…” is a popular refrain, which does the rounds with friends when one of them falls in love. Her or his life follows the rhyme to the T (most of the times!), but what happens thereafter is something people tend not to mention for the fear that it may come true. Nevertheless, every married couple feels that, after the initial whirlwind years of carefree romance, the fire seems to fade away as they grow old together. Both of them fear a loss of value in each other’s life, fear the fact that their own beauty and sex appeal is fading and before we know it, many marriages spiral out of control and the spouses are waiting for each of them to make the first move out of the door, never to come back again. All such situations occur because we do not take stock of the situation beforehand and live in the illusion that the romance will continue forever and a day. We let the various damp squibs do all the damage that they are capable of and wake up with a “what-hit-me” expression painted on our faces. Before its gets too late, thus, take stock of the situation and know how to keep the fire burning in a relationship.
Tips On Keeping The Passion In A Relationship
Here are some tips to keep the spark alive in your relationship:
Let’s Do Something New Today
One sure way not to let the fire die in the relationship is to keep trying new things together. The reason why relationships have a lot of passion when they have just begun is the fact that a new relationship is often exciting only because of the fact that it is new and because you are still discovering each other. Chances are, every time you turn around, you are learning something new about your spouse and your spouse too feels the same way; or, both of you could be experiencing something new together. As time passes and this newness starts to fade, you might begin to feel that the passion that kept both of you going is also fading along with it. One sure way to keep the fire burning is to keep trying new activities together and experimenting with life, with each other and with our own lives. A relationship that is always exciting and holds in it the element of newness and mystery is more likely to keep its spark.
Get Rid of The Extinguisher
When the fire seems to fade away or runs into one of the dangerous territories, anything and everything can decrease the passion, acting as the fire extinguisher. There are many such things that will put out a fire in a relationship. For instance, phone calls during dinner, conversations only centered around a period of financial crisis, reading the paper and not paying attention while one partner talks, complaining and nagging on the part of one partner and silent sulking on the part of another are all things that will put out the passion. Even children with their needs will put a damper on a well-intended night out. Prepare for such mood dampeners from the beginning so that either you do not let them come between you or they only end up bringing you closer. Being prepared in advance about certain situations will help in narrowing the divide or prevent it from occurring.
Space, Not Distance
If you do not allow enough space between the two of you, you run the risk of widening the gap and this creates distances that can never be transcended. It would definitely serve you well to lead separate social lives even as both of you live and share lives together. Relationships are meant to bring two people together but it should not pose a threat to anyone’s personal space, individuality and individual space to grow in relationships. Never enter into a relationship with the intention of feeling complete but with the intention of sharing your life with someone worthy of your love, respect, and concern. When spouses allow each other space to grow and feel complete within themselves, the relationship reaches a level of maturity and trust that is matched by very few and at that point you will need nothing to keep you together.