We all love to talk and listen to others talk too, especially if we like that person (!) or take a genuine interest in what is being said. Talking and being talked to is what comes naturally to any human being. In fact making effective conversations is considered an art. Most of us, however, wish someone could tell us how to avoid the ‘pregnant pause’ that threatens to put an abrupt and unnecessary punctuation to any conversation. Most of us cannot see it coming and them all we are left with is uncomfortable smiles that only make us more nervous. One must know when the ‘pause’ is coming and try to avoid it. Here are some ways to avoid the pregnant pause and to keep the conversation going.
Ways To Keep Conversation Going
Here are some ways in which one can avoid the pregnant pause, which threatens to end a conversation abruptly:
‘Conversation bully’ is someone who is egotist and is completely obsessed about his/her own interests. He or she may have no interest whatsoever to listen to another person’s share of conversation. Such people are often despised and they give the impression that others are almost being forced to listen to them. Remember, to never turn into a conversation bully; you will be making less friends and people will end up avoiding you. No one likes to talk to someone who is self-absorbed and take no interest in them.
Conversation V/s Speech
Conversation is a ‘dialogue’ – where there are two people involved; speech, on the other hand, is a ‘monologue’ – where one person talks and all others listen. Speeches are boring, conversations can be made interesting. Learn this difference and make sure it is etched into your brain’s database for good! If you see a conversation turning into a speech, pause and smile, giving yourself time to think about how to transfer the ball to the other person. If you forget the basic difference between the conversations, (dialogue) and a speech (monologue) all your monologues might soon turn into soliloquies!
Questions, Questions, Questions!
Asking questions and enquiring about the other person is an easy and effective of making the conversation flow in a definite way. You could ask the person more about themselves, their jobs, their interests, their favourite films/books/cuisine and so on. When they say something, pose a question that could give them opportunity to elaborate or say something to support their statement like “Why do you think so?” or “Really?” or “How?” You could also derive your question from what the other person has just said, which will also earn you brownie points for being an attentive listener.
Do not ever stop the conversation by talking on the cell at the same time you are talking to a person; that will surely put the other person off and will earn you a bad name as someone who is boring and not an attentive listener. If you receive a call from a friend, politely tell the friend that you will call back, that you are in the middle of something important. You will also be making the other person feel more important, earning a few more brownie points.
Nosy Is No-No
It is good to be interested, but one should be careful not to sound too nosy, especially when talking to women. Women generally are protective of their interests, and do not take kindly to someone who asks too many questions or seems nosy. If the other person feels like he or she is being interrogated, they would either not answer or give you an angry look to remind you of your limits! You are no sleuth and they are no suspects, don’t ever forget this!
Live(ly) And Let Live
Those who make conversations in a lively way, are often the ones to whom others flock to. Be confident about who you are and be appreciative of what others are, show a healthy interest in the other person and be witty without sounding cheap.