It is often an embarrassing situation to be in – the office bully singles you out from the whole lot and keeps making derogatory comments about you. He/she has a sidekick or two who’s only job is to laugh at his/her caustic jokes. The whole office chooses to ignore the incident; you cannot blame them for such escapism. It takes a really conscientious person to stand up for wrong done to someone else. Be thankful if anyone of them is ready to offer even lip service. The first thing to remember is that you are not what the bully says you are, but how you handle it. You could suffer, ignore, make a joke of it or complain, if the situation becomes unbearable. But the first thing to remember is that you are not and were never at fault. Read on to know how to deal with aggression in the workplace.
Handling Aggression At Office
It’s Not Your Fault
It is absolutely self-destructive to think that there is something wrong with you. It has nothing to do with you and you need not change anything about yourself. Also, you must remember that even if you change yourself, those who are bullying you will not change.
Remember the school bully that every kid was afraid of? He used his size and physical strength to get one-up on those who he could not beat otherwise, especially inside the classroom. View your perpetrators as the school bully – rather the office bully. He/she is an overgrown child, who finds it impossible to compete fairly and openly with you and worthy people like you.
Laugh With You, Not At You
Many a times, so called foes become friends if they come to know that you are capable of laughing at yourself. And after all, everyone loves a good joke! The next time your bully makes a loud, derogatory comment about you, ask him/her “Are you just joking or are you serious about what you said?” The person is sure to say that he/she was serious about what he/she said; so you answer “Good! In any case, I don’t like jokes.” Even if the person is not in splits everyone else in your workplace will be in splits. Make the person feel, in similar way that you are unaffected by what is being said.
It pays to keep a friendly attitude from the beginning towards everyone. Recluses in workplaces often end up getting beaten or in any other way hurt by the bullies. If you need to avoid all such torture, be friendly with almost all in the office. Make sure you never walk out of the office all alone, especially at night. Stay in a group of at least three people and park your vehicle at a safe location.
Pay attention to what the bully said to you, when it was said to you, how many people were around at that time. It may seem like a way of increasing the hurt that has been caused to you, but it will help you file an official complaint to your seniors when you have all your facts in the right place.
Write a formal complaint to your seniors and make sure to maintain a copy of it. Mention in it all the details mentioned above and also suggest solutions that are workable and would reduce your trauma. The bully could be teamed with someone else, shifted to a different department or, at the very least, be served a notice. Note the date when you filed a complaint so that, if no action is taken, you could remind them of the same.
You must keep in mind that your emotional and psychological wellbeing is primary – not the money that the firm that you are working in offers. So, if all else fails, leave the job if you have to or are pushed into it.