Do you always compare yourself with Monica of “FRIENDS”? And no, I am not talking about the cleanliness streak which you may have in you. I am talking about your mother. Judy, Monica’s mother (played by Christina Pickles), was a very fine example of an overbearing mother. Does your mother always hover over you, thinking that you are good for nothing and without her help; you won’t be able to take any decisions of your own? Does she dissect your every move? Does she tell you how to live your life? If all the above answers ring true, then you may have an overbearing mother. Dealing with such a mother can be difficult when you don’t know how to handle her overbearing traits. If you are living with her, you absolutely must know how to handle her, to save the beautiful mother-daughter relationship. Read on to know the tips to deal with an overbearing mother.
Dealing With An Overbearing Mother
- Instead of ignoring her, try to have an open chat with her. Ask her what she thinks of you and why she thinks you won’t be able to manage yourself. An open chat will help to put a perspective in her.
- Introspect yourself. Why is she overbearing? Is it because of your weakness? Have you ever been dependent on her? If yes, then it’s time to get back on your feet.
- If your mother is overbearing just because of her nature, you need to draw some lines and establish boundaries. Let her not cross those and if she tries to meddle in, remind her in a polite, but firm tone.
- Sometimes, you get so used to having her around that asking her approval for everything becomes a habit. Develop self-confidence in yourself and let your opinion matter most.
- Stop making her a part of your every little detail. Let her be a part of your life but keep some things to yourself only. You can thank your mother for suggestions, but the last decision should always be yours.
- Nagging may be a big trait of your mother. Tell her in firm tone about how her nagging is affecting your life in a negative way.
- If she is so domineering that you can’t tell her on face, then try writing a letter to her. Write her in detail about how your relationship can be made better.
- Get independent! If you have always been shadowed by your mother, it must be very difficult for you to stand out for yourself. However, this is the best thing you can do to explain to her that she needn’t be overbearing.
- Don’t feel guilty. Sometimes, you may tell her something and feel guilty about it later. Don’t fall into the guilt-trap. You are living your own life and you shouldn’t feel guilty about living it your own way.
- If your life is getting badly affected by the overbearing nature of your mother, you may consider taking professional help. Take her to a psychologist.