It becomes quite difficult to handle children when they turn into adolescent teens. It is that time in which they go through a major transformation in their lives. The puberty calls in for a number of emotional, mental and biological changes, which is one of the major reasons for their unpredictable behavior. Most of the parents find it very difficult to tackle the situation. But in actuality, it is not all that difficult. All you really have to do is understand and respect the fact that your adolescent is not a little baby anymore and he/she needs to be treated like an individual. Most parents get into a conflict with their teens when they fail to treat them respectfully and continue to treat them as a dependent little child. If you have got a problem with your teen or want him/her to change his/her attitude then you need a more effective technique than to just simply punish or shout. You should rather sit your young one down and talk one to one to figure out what is the actual problem. Your teen is already going through a lot of change, whether it is at school or with the peers, there is a lot of confusion going on in his/ her life. There is a constant conflict in what your teen believes in and what he/she is expected to do. This gives rise to a feeling of rebellion, which makes them highly argumentative and unsettled. If you can understand the situation properly then who knows you might end up being really good friends with your teens. To know how to handle an adolescent, read on.
How to Deal with Adolescent Child
- You should remember not to invade their privacy, such as reading their diary. Even if you have to, make sure your children never finds out. In case they do, they will feel cheated. You should keep off their wardrobe, computers, phone, etc., obviously except for the times when you are almost sure that something is going on and you need to investigate. Teenagers are very attached to their privacy, they do not really want you to know each and every detail of their lives and you must respect it. Show your faith in your teen rather than always be suspicious on him/her.
- Respect your growing teenager. If you expect your child to respect you, show respect too. This way you will be able to play the part of a role model. Talk to your teen nicely, ask about his/her day and other important details but like you are asking an individual. Do not at any point in time be condescending. You must always remember to treat your teen really nicely in front of his/her friends. Teenagers take their friends and friendship very seriously and they expect you to do the same.
- Accept the fact that their friends and the life outside matters more to them than life at home. No matter how much you might work hard for them, how much time you spend with them on dinner or breakfast, your teens will always give priority to themselves, their friends, dating and the latest gadgets, they would expect you to buy for them. If you see your teen getting obsessed with just one aspect of his/her life then you must talk to them gently about the issue. But do not try to make your teen always feel bad about the fact that he/she has got a life outside the home.
- Don't shout at them. The more you shout, the more they will shout back. If they ignore you, you can also try to ignore them back. But it is more advisable to understand the situation first before acting on it. If you think that your teenager is behaving badly due to some unexpected stress or something he/she is not able to deal with, then extend a helping hand. Try not to add on to the pressure on your teen, it is a very crucial time of his/her life.
- If you are a mother and your teen is out of control, you can think of a sob-session. Explain your teen about your feelings and why you are worried. This really works out with daughters. This might make your teen conscious of your pain and anxiety. If you deal with this sensitively without blaming everything on your teen then you might be able to work out on your strained relationship with him/her.
- Never resort to violence. This will aggravate the problem, making your teenage kids more unruly. Violence is not a solution to any problem. Resorting to violence would only mean that you do not treat your teen equally and you do not respect him/her. This will immensely hurt your teen and will push him/her into becoming stubborn and rude.
- One of the best things to do with them is to sit down and have a talk. There are always different aspects to a story and you might discover that probably you are the one at fault. Do not assume that your teen is stupid and immature. But when you sit down and talk to your teen then do not make him/her uncomfortable. Do not include any member outside of your family; otherwise it might embarrass your teen.
- Be involved, but don't interfere too much. At the same time, don't spoil them. Don't give in to unreasonable demands. Be patient.