Being assertive is often equated with being arrogant and bigheaded. Assertiveness is a remarkably positive trait and self-assured people are sure to succeed, no matter what. However, some insecure people, who do not possess this brazenness, often brand assertiveness as a mere reflection of superciliousness. The plain dichotomization between assertiveness and arrogance is that assertive people climb the ladder without stepping on other people’s rights and arrogant people simply fail to see that others exist. The dividing line between the two can appear to be very thin, almost blurred, in certain circumstances, where you have to communicate your needs without bending. There is a bright possibility that you may come across as arrogant. In case, you don’t want this to happen, read on. You will find some valuable tips on how to balance your aggression and be assertive without being arrogant or pushy.
Tips To Be Assertive Without Being Aggressive
Use Assertive Communication Appropriately
Those who are not assertive don’t speak their usual self and those who are, tend to over do it at times. The idea is to strike a fine balance and use your assertive communication skills in a manner, which is deemed appropriate. Only you can tame your over aggressiveness, which is very important to succeed, at least in the professional arena. ‘Being polite yet firm’ is the golden rule and you would do well to remember that, if you don’t want to be written off as an aggressive freak.
Be An Active Listener
Being assertive is not only about conveying your point across in a firm way; it also involves listening to the other party patiently. Those who don’t listen to what others have to say epitomize arrogance in the most apparent way. You have to guard against this tendency. It doesn’t imply that you are giving others a chance to convince you when you have to be assertive. It’s just that others should not feel that you are self-absorbed and only concerned with yourself. Listen to others, but stand solid on your position.
Look For A Middle Path
There are certain situations where it becomes imperative to work out a middle path, rather than incessantly locking horns with others by being too assertive. Reaching a compromise, sometimes, benefits more than hoisting your own flag. Identify such situations and be willing to work for a compromise when required. Imagine if the other party is as forceful and pushy as assertive are you! Under such circumstances, it makes sense to keep your options open.
Be Modest & Unassuming
Modesty and an unassuming demeanor gel very well with assertiveness. It is such a fine combination that you would never be associated with elitism and snobbery. Conversely, rudeness coupled with assertiveness is naturally seen as arrogance. Be humble and civil with others in your dealings. Your insolence can make you feel alone, as no one will one come to your rescue, once the wrong shot has been fired. Hence, guard against offending others and try to be modest and gracious.