Making your child listen to you might seem the most difficult task on this planet, though it is not. With a little tact and understanding you can make this difficult task easy. Don’t forget that at the tender age they are, it is not easy for them to focus attention on the numerous and varied things scattered all around. Moreover, shouting at your child will only lead to frustration, without yielding any result. On the contrary, try and understand your child. Be patient and teach him how to be a good listener via different activities. It is never too late to teach your child how to listen. There are many theories on why children start going deaf on their parents. One school of thought believes that it is because children around the age of 6-8 start to develop a distinctive sense of independence. They try to exhibit this independence wherever and however possible. The safest place for them to try it and push the limits is at home because it is their safe haven. They know that they can be a rebel at home and nowhere else. It is because they have this innate trust in their parents that they will look out for them no matter what. They cannot practice such behavior at school or with anybody else because hierarchy and structure is quite fixed there, which obviously children understand very well. They know that if they will push the limits there then it will not be ignored or let go off scot free. There is another theory that says that young children take instructions from everyone all day long, especially at the school. They get tired of it and they try and relax at home. Therefore they start ignoring the demands of their parents because they know that they will be loved and cared for irrespective. This is their unique way to exercise liberty and de-stress themselves. This is why they sometimes treat their parents as if they do not exist anymore. The trick is not to take it personally because they are probably not doing it intentionally or purposefully. As a parent you do not have to shout at your child if he/she is going through a phase like that, there are more sensible ways to deal with it. Here are some of them.
Getting Your Child To Listen To You
- Try connecting with your child. Do not stand at a distance and point down to him/her. Make an eye contact while talking and try to treat your child like an individual. If you speak condescendingly to your child then you will end up hurting his/her individuality and you certainly do not want to do that. Make sure that you have a body language that suggests connection rather than controlling.
- You should properly address your child with his/her name. This will again make him/her feel like he/she is being referred to as a grown-up and not a child. This will help your child to connect to you as a separate identity, which will give him/her a lot of confidence and a sense of responsibility.
- You must keep it short and sweet. Do not go on rambling in front of your little one. If you will keep it concise there are more chances that your child will stay focused and will understand your point of view on things. If you start giving him/her a lecture you will not be able to keep his/her attention for long. Also, you must try to stay simple with your young one. Do not use complicated sentences and thoughts with him/her. Remember he/she is just a little child and does not really understand everything you say even though his/her behavior might appear to be very assertive.
- Use positive affirmations instead of negative ones. Do not tell your child what he cannot do, instead try to tell him/her what he/she ought to do. This will send a clear message. Also, try and not say no to everything otherwise your child will think that it is in your general nature to say no to everything. Use ‘no’ with a lot of care; do not use it until it is exceptionally needed.
- Give your child some space and let him/her decide what he/she wants to do. Once you have told your child what you expect out of him/her, it is really his/her call now. If you give space and time to your child like that you will notice a big change in his/her behavior. This is a good way to instill sense of responsibility and freedom in your child’s attitude.
- Do not yell or say the same thing over and over again because it will lose its importance. If your child does not listen to you the first time then sit him/her down and make him/her understand what you want.
- Lend a compassionate ear to your child. Listen to his/her point of view as well. May be there is a particular reason for them to not listen to you, which you may not be aware of. May be your child is going through a crisis and this is his/her way to capture your attention towards him/her. You should try and understand your child’s point of view as well. When he/she is talking do not interrupt and be eager to say your thing first. Always remember that it takes a lot of courage for a child to come and share his thoughts with his/her parents because children are innocent and most of times scared of consequences. Do not dismiss them out of hand.