Physical infidelity is passé. The new face of infidelity is emotional infidelity. Now, what is emotional infidelity? Emotional cheating takes place when we start looking forward to or rather anticipating emotional support and bond from someone other than our spouse. It often starts with sharing small personal niceties of your life with a member of the opposite sex and then, slowly discussing each and every intimate detail of you life with him/her. You start looking forward to meeting that person again; spending time with him/her and, in the process, start neglecting your partner. Emotional affairs usually start at the office, because this is where, other than home, we spent most of our time.
Causes of Emotional Cheating
Though we fail to see them, at times there are causes behind the emotional infidelity of a person. Some of them have been listed below:
- Lack of intimacy between the partners.
- Other partner being too much involved in office or household work.
- Disappointments faced at the hands of the partner.
- Too much monotony and boredom in married life.
- Lack of love and attention between partners.
- Mid-life or pre-midlife crisis.
- Lack of understanding between the partners.
The usual signs of emotional infidelity are:
- Lack of physical intimacy. Your partner always claims to be either too busy or too tired.
- Both of you have arguments over the pettiest of matters.
- You feel that the attraction and chemistry is totally missing from your relationship.
- Your partner does not have anything to talk to you. At the same time, he/she spends too much on time on the phone or internet.
- Your partner only finds faults in you - be it your appearance or your behavior.
- You are told not to finger his/her cell phone and computer.
- Family functions, parties and get-togethers are no longer on the priority list of your partner.
Consequences of Emotional Infidelity
No action in this world in without consequences, which might be good or bad. Same is the case with emotional infidelity. If one of the partners starts cheating the other emotionally, it is bound to create problems. In the worst circumstances, the marriage will break apart and they will have a divorce. Even if this doesn’t happen, a lot of other problems will start creeping up in the marriage. The innocent partner might go under depression or might even feel at loss with himself/herself. The trust that was once the basis of marriage will be lost forever and the incurable disease of suspicion might hound the partners for the rest of their lives.
Avoiding Emotional Affairs
Many of us might have been tempted to start emotional affairs, outside of marriage, but only a few actually end up doing this. This is how the other people avoid making the mistake.
- Keep office colleagues to office; don’t involve them in your family matters. Never ever discuss your personal issues with them.
- Avoid going out alone with a member of the opposite sex. Going out in a group is ok, but being alone in restaurant increases the chance of developing an intimacy.
- If a colleague belonging to the opposite sex starts having too intimate a conversation with you, bow out of it politely. Say something like - Sorry, I’m not comfortable sharing my personal life with anyone other than my spouse or I don’t think I should comment on your personal life.
- Involve your spouse in any unusual conversation or light banter you had with any member of the opposite sex in the office.
- Avoid friendly pecks or hugs with members of the opposite sex. Group dance is ok, but never ever go for a couple dance.
- Avoid drinking with a friend of the opposite sex, unless you are in a group.
Involve your spouse more in your life by telling him/her about office tensions, calling him/her from office, planning dinner after office, etc.