“Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.” - Paulo Coelho
Recovering from an emotional affair is like trying to let go off alcohol and drugs after so many years of letting it into your system and becoming a slave of it. Because once you decide to abandon the drinks and the powder, you can at least go ahead with the plan and rehab. But it’s a lot worse when it comes to getting over an emotional affair with your partner as it’s very hard to imagine a life without someone who had become an integral part of your life’s system. Then, for whatever reasons (no matter how unacceptable) your relationship got here; you still think about the times that made your relationship a bliss, and that’s what makes it all the more difficult to decide where you’re headed. Ask those who’ve gone through the phase and they’ll tell you it’s the worst form of suffering. A person always finds himself/herself in the midst of turmoil, where emotions take charge and reasonable thought processes get compromised. You don’t know whether to wait for things to mend themselves or to move ahead with your life. At one side your heart is telling you to give your relationship another chance, and at the same time your mind is telling you to let go off. You’re stuck in nowhere! Wondering what to do next? Read on.
Recovering From Emotional Affair
Forgive & Forget!
You know you want to mend things up but haven’t been able to. It’s because you haven’t completely forgiven your partner. Undoubtedly, the hardest thing to do is to let forgiveness seep through in your heart. It’s the only way that can suppress and eventually eradicate the anger and resentment inside you that’s blocking you from giving your relationship another chance. The healing process won’t be easy but it will be healed for sure. It’s not just you and your partner who’re caught up in between. Many times your children and family members get entangled in the mess too. Do it for them!
It doesn’t involve bringing out the corpses that you had buried and throwing them at your partner every now and then. You have forgiven, remember? Now that you’ve both agreed to give your relationship another chance, it’s very important to communicate and discuss about every aspect of each of your lives separately and together. Talk about how you used to feel at the golden times of your relationship, how you felt at the darkest hours, and how you feel now. It’s important that you both should know the state of each other’s hearts and minds.
It is advisable to seek professional counseling in order to get a third eye opinion and some advice from an expert. An emotional affair is not just between the partners in crime, but also between the partners for time. Open yourself up to the counselor and discuss with him/her why you or your partner felt the need to go outside the marriage and have an emotional affair with another person. It will help the both of you to get to the root of the problem of why this happened so that you can make an effort of not letting it happen ever again in the future. Plus, the counseling provided by the counselor might do you a lot of good.
Look After Yourself!
In the midst of all this chaos, it is important not to lose a grasp of yourself and look after yourself even more than ever. Having to go through such emotional turmoil can also physically drain the body out of your senses. Times such as these make the case for self care through eating right, meditation, and recreational activities all the more important. After so much thinking, your body needs proper diet. It’ll also help if you indulge yourself in meditation and yoga. Recreational activities like reading, music, walking, exercising etc will help your mind think straight in these trying times.
We all have them! We all love them! They have been with us through thick and thin and now it’s time again. Get in touch with them! Discuss with them about your situation and let them provide you with emotional support. It’ll help if you both have some common friends with whom you can socialize often. Not only will it distract your mind from all the thinking, but will make the healing process a lot quicker and less painful.
Hope that these ways will make way for a faster and easier emotional affair recovery!