Domestic abuse occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dictate and control another person with psychological, emotional and physical abuse. The ‘bell bajao’ or ‘ring the bell’ campaign was used throughout India to ask men and boys to bring halt to domestic violence. One of the bell bajao campaigns that starred the popular Bollywood actor Boman Irani showed that any reason will do for showing up at the door. In the commercial, the actor rings the bell and asks, “Kya main ek phone kar sakta hoon” (Can I make a phone call)?’’ The next second, his cell phone rings, but the abusers expression clearly shows that he is got the point. The campaign reached to millions of people through the media and was a great success. Research has shown that people do not take legal or public help in cases of domestic violence due to guilt and embarrassment. It is very difficult to identify a person who happens to suffer from domestic violence. For the simple reason that most of the victims are not always submissive and have low self esteem, and the abusers are not always hateful to their partners when in public. Most relationships have discords, but it becomes serious when one resorts to domestic violence. It often starts with threats, violent acts, name calling, blaming, slapping and other trauma. Listed below are the warning signs of domestic abuse.
Signs Of Domestic Violence And Abuse
- The sole purpose of domestic violence is to continue total control on you. The abusers don’t believe in behaving honestly and honorably. They use guilt, shame, threats, terror, fear, and disdain to keep the other person under their control. The abusers might threaten or physically or emotionally hurt the other person.
- The presence of injuries and bruises might occur recurrently in evident places of the body. A black eye or a battered hand can be a result of an assault, forcing the victim to face the embarrassment and give justifications outside of how the bruises have occurred. When this occurs the intent of the abuser is to make the victim feel trapped and secluded at home.
- A person coming frequently late or keeping absent from work could signal something amiss in the relationship. A person’s normal schedule is disturbed when there is something wrong at home like severe fights, beatings, emotional trauma, or shocks related to other trauma.
- The victims might feel a sense of hopelessness and low self esteem. . They believe that they cannot make it on their own without their partner’s support, and how fortunate they are to have them in their life..
- The abusers generally accuse their partners of having affairs. The most common method used by abusers is an effort to isolate their partners and a reason for inducing physical abuse. The accusations could include looking at other men or women, wanting to be with other men or women, or having affairs with somebody. It could signal a part of abuse of what the victim suffers at home.
- There could be drastic personality changes in a victim. A very outgoing person might become silent and inhibited in the presence of a partner. This results in conditioning of the mind of the victim because of the accusations of flirting, talking loudly, telling lies or something insulting. The victim finds it easier to act in a certain way than to face more new accusations in the future.
- The victims always have the fear of conflict with co-workers, relatives, friends, and neighbors. This can create a lot of anxiety among the victims resulting in experiencing weaknesses with different relationships. These people give in to other’s desires and needs easily and become afraid of asserting their own wants and happiness. Everyday life feels like a battle to them.
- In domestic violence the abuser blames others for everything that goes wrong in his/her life. The blame is always targeted at a partner. For instance, a little less salt in the food could turn into a violent situation, blaming the partner for it. Relatives and friends may observe this behavior often.
- A sure sign of being abused is blaming self. The victims have a tendency of taking the blame for things that go wrong. You can hear stories from victims about something that occurred at home and then owning the blame for whatever happened. If this is seen frequently it could be a sign of being abused.